


In Camera

by naughtyevak



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: (Even/Sonja), (kind of), Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Banter, Blow Jobs, Cheating, Dry Humping, First Time, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Hand Jobs, Intercrural Sex, Locked In, M/M, Masturbation, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rimming, Roommates, Sexual Tension, Shower Sex, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 09:22:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 34,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29241285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/naughtyevak/pseuds/naughtyevak
Summary: This situation sucks but then, Isak has to admit he’s pretty lucky despite everything. There could be worse things than being locked down with Even. They’ve gotten along since day one, when Isak moved into the flatshare his first year at Uni.They became friends, close friends.So going through this with Even was probably going to make this a little bit easier.Well, one thing wasn’t easy and definitely did not get any easier as weeks passed...Or what happens when two horny boys have to go through lockdown together.
Relationships: Even Bech Næsheim/Isak Valtersen
Comments: 137
Kudos: 248





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hei hei,  
> I thought I would stick to small drabbles on twitter but here I am with the beginning of a chaptered fic because - just like these boys - I have apparently zero chill. I hope you'll have fun with this!
> 
> before we begin, I wanna give a big shout out to my amazing beta reader and number one supporter in this smut writing business I got myself into. thank you for your pompous bullshit, your caffeine-induced neverending brilliant ideas and your inspiring purple prose that have helped me make this text a lot better ;)

What a nightmare.

They are now officially in lockdown, confined to their apartment except for emergencies, a quick walk in the neighborhood or to shop for food and essential items. It has only been a couple of days and Isak is already pacing the apartment like a wild animal in a cage.

“Can you please calm down for a minute? You’re driving me nuts here…”

Isak stills and looks over at Even, sprawled on the couch, his little green sketchbook lying in his lap. He returns his stare, brows raised in defiance, but Isak can see the shadow of an amused smile on his lips. 

“Sorry.” he mumbles and plops down on the couch next to Even.

“Don’t worry, I know it sucks but it will be over soon, we just have to be patient. You know a very wise man once told me that everything gets too much, we just have to take it minute by minute.” Even smiles.

“Wow, he sounds smart.” Isak smirks.

“Very smart.”

“And handsome too.”

Even shakes his head, amused, and scoffs before returning his gaze to the drawing he’s working on.

The situation does suck but then, Isak has to admit he’s pretty lucky despite everything. There could be worse things than being locked down with Even. They’ve gotten along since day one, when Isak moved into the flatshare his first year at Uni. They discovered that they listened to the same kind of music (except for Even’s ridiculous fondness for cheesy pop songs), and the same shitty sense of humour when they spent an entire week communicating almost exclusively through terrible memes. Even listened to Isak when he rambled for hours about the immensity of the universe, without ever making fun of him for being a nerd, and Isak always encouraged Even in his new art projects, cheering him on when he felt like giving up.

They were also there for each other through the bad times. Isak knew he could always count on Even to comfort him when his mum was decompensating and his dad acted like the irresponsible prick he was. Isak was there for Even too when he had episodes, picking up the signs of mania and getting the help he needed, taking care of him while giving him space to recover from the depression that followed.

They became more than roommates.

They are friends, close friends.

So yeah, being forced to stay home sucks, but going through this with Even makes it a little bit easier.

Well...one thing isn’t easy and definitely does not get any easier as weeks pass.

Isak is horny.

He’d started to wake up in the morning with soiled briefs and a still half-hard cock just like when he was a young teenager with absolutely zero chill. He’s turned on by the most ridiculous things like this awful actor in a perfume commercial that made him pop a very awkward boner in front of the TV and forced him to spend something like forty minutes under the shower just to calm himself down.

Of course, he gets himself off, he watches porn, uses his toys and he even sexted this guy he’d been hooking up for a while but it isn’t enough.

He misses sex.

Real sex.

He misses the contact with another body, the thrill of touching someone's skin. He misses kissing, sucking, he misses being fucked so hard he can feel it in his bones for days.

He says so to Even ― maybe not in so many words, though ― one night they get a little bit drunk because they both need something to take the edge off.

“I mean, it’s not the first time I’ve gone for a few weeks without getting laid, of course…” Isak shrugs, the movement making him spill some beer on his tee-shirt. “fuck…” he mutters. 

“I would never have imagined that, you player.” Even teases him, “Are you sure you weren’t one of those Penetrators dudes in high school?” he wiggles his eyebrows in that ridiculous and endearing way that makes Isak roll his eyes at him.

“Fuck off! I’m not like that.” Isak nudges Even on his side. “But yeah, whenever I felt horny, I knew I could just go to a bar or a club and have a good chance of finding someone to hook up with… it’s not knowing how long this will last that’s difficult you know?”

“Yeah…” Even hums, “It’s weird, knowing that Sonja is right here in Oslo, just on the other side of town and I can’t go see her, kiss her…”

“Touch her?” Isak smirks.

“Yeah… touch her,” he sighs, taking the fresh drink Isak offers and taking a few gulps. “Fuck, I miss her.”

They sink down into the couch, bodies slumping down until their shoulders touch, both of them buzzing with alcohol. Arousal made even more intense by their drunken confessions.

“I just wanna… you know, take my girlfriend on a date, see her smile, make love to her,” Even says pensively before casting a glance at Isak. He worries his lower lip between his teeth, a light blush suddenly covering his cheeks, making him look almost bashful as he waits for Isak's reaction.

“Mmh… that sounds very lovely and all but quite frankly, I just want to fuck. I don’t even need to know his name, I just want someone to touch me and make me cum.”

They both burst out laughing at Isak's blunt and desperate declaration. They laugh until they both have tears in their eyes.

They turn their heads where they're resting on the couch until they’re looking at each other.

“That sounds pretty good too.” Even smiles.

“Yeah…” Isak murmurs, his breath short because of all the laughing, or maybe, just maybe, because Even’s blue eyes are so blue, so deep, glistening with joyful tears and now they’re locked into his own.

Just maybe because they’re so close to each other that he can feel Even’s breath on his skin, soft like the promise of a caress. 

Even absentmindedly licks his lips and Isak’s eyes instinctively track the movement, how his plump lips part just slightly, the tip of Even’s tongue slowly peeking out, before disappearing again, leaving them shiny and even more delectable.

Isak sees Even’s mouth open and close again a couple of times, as if he was trying to say something but didn’t know how, or what. Isak lifts his gaze and whispers, “Yes”. It's supposed to be a question, to ask Even what he wants to say but as soon as Isak speaks, his voice sounds more like an affirmation, an agreement, almost a plea.

Even doesn’t need another word from him. He leans over Isak until their faces are only mere millimeters apart, he tilts his head to the side, grazes Isak’s lips with his own, softly, almost tentatively. Isak releases a small, strangled gasp as Even closes the minuscule distance between them and seals their lips in a kiss.

They move their lips against each other’s, get acquainted with each other’s touch. Isak wouldn’t admit it, but he had wondered about Even’s lips, how they would feel against his own, against his skin. How could he not? Even has lips to die for. It doesn’t mean Isak has a thing for Even, not at all, his lips are just undisputedly gorgeous, so full and pink. And now that they are pressed against his, it’s even better than what he had imagined. 

But it is not nearly enough.

Isak parts his lips again and captures Even’s bottom lip, teases it just a little bit between his teeth, lets out a soft appreciative moan and that’s all it takes for Even to know, to understand and respond eagerly.

He lifts his hand to cup Isak’s jaw, caress his cheek with his thumb until it pulls at the corner of Isak’s mouth. Isak opens it a little bit more, giving Even space to deepen their kiss, to run his tongue along the supple curve of Isak’s cupid’s bow before slipping it between his lips.

Isak moans again, louder, more desperate. He sucks on Even’s tongue, lets it swirl with his own. In their kiss, he can taste the beers they were drinking just minutes before and that are now forgotten on the coffee table. It’s messy, it’s urgent and hot, so incredibly hot that Isak feels lightheaded, drunk on Even’s touch more than the alcohol.

Isak slides down the backrest of the couch until he’s lying on his back, gripping Even’s hoodie to pull him down with him. Even follows willingly, barely unlocking their lips in the process and soon towers over Isak, his hand on each side of his head as Isak still clings to his clothes.

Isak spreads his legs, making room for Even, who instantly finds his place between his thighs as if it was the most natural thing in the world, a place made for him. Even lowers his body and presses his crotch against Isak's, they both let out a loud moan when they feel the other’s erection, welcoming the delicious pressure on their own hard cocks.

“Oh fuck...” Isak whimpers, the first words that have passed through his lips since Even’s tongue had entered his mouth.

It seems to do something to Even who tilts his head back up until he can look at Isak’s face. His eyes are black with lust, his full lips reds and puffy, already looking ruined and perfectly sinful, his soft blond hair completely disheveled and  _ fuck _ , Isak doen’t think he’s ever seen a more gorgeous sight in his life. 

Even does it again, lowers down against Isak’s crotch, who whimpers and his entire face lights up, as if through this experiment, Even had just discovered the answer to all of life’s great mysteries. Hs eyes sparkle with excitement and awe at the realisation of the power he seems to have over Isak’s pleasure.

He does it again, with a slow roll of his hips and Isak throws his head backwards, unable to control the overwhelming surge of sensations that fire through his body like electricity. Even takes this opportunity to bury his face in the curve of Isak's neck, he kisses him, his breath hot and wet against the soft skin, and when he finds a particularly sensitive spot, he sucks on it until Isak's body is squirming under his own in pure delight.

Even pins Isak's hips down with one of his hands, grounds him and prevents him from moving too much as he grinds his hard-on against Isak's, sets the pace and the force of their heady undulation. Then, he lets the other slide under Isak's tee-shirt, caresses his chest, his stomach. Isak gasps when he feels the contact of Even’s hand on his skin. He won’t admit it either, but Isak may also have thought about Even’s hand in a not so appropriate friendly way before. They’re so big and lean, their movements so graceful. Isak has more than once wondered how it would feel like to have these hands touch him, stroke him, caress and hold him, and maybe, just maybe, he has imagined them around his cock as he was touching himself after he’d heard Even give himself over to the same solitary activity through the thin wall shared by their two bedrooms.

Isak feels his abs tensing as Even thrusts his cock against Isak’s, then again, each movement sending a wave of pleasure from the place their bodies connect to every single one of their endings, each grind earning Even another moan from Isak's lips, each one louder, deeper. Isak lifts both his hands and cards his fingers through Even’s messy hair, tugs it a little bit just because he needs something to grasp on to. He holds Even there against his neck and revels in the sound of his heavy panting and heaving, Even’s lips vibrating against Isak’s skin sending shivers through his entire body.

Even’s movement become faster, more frantic. He releases Isak, his hips now free to buck up and force friction between their bodies. The contact of his jeans and of the hard metal zipper rubbing on his crotch begins to burn a little bit, but any discomfort Isak might feel is washed away by the pangs of pure, overwhelming pleasure that begins to rise inside of him.

He can feel it; intense, white heat coiled in his stomach, threatening to burst. "Even... oh God, Evennn," he moans, frantically searching his lust-clouded mind for the words to warn Even that he's seconds, and several strokes away, from cumming in his briefs .

Words must fail Even too, so he kisses Isak in response, swallowing his sounds and sucking on his tongue. It’s hot, messy and as their bodies begin to tremble, their kiss becomes simply two mouths, breathing and whimpering into each other. Even rests his forehead against Isak’s and with a final push of his hips, stops their movements, pressing their erections together as his body quivers under Isak’s touch. His mouth falls open in a silent cry, his eyes tightly shut and it is this, his face frozen in pure and unabashed ecstasy, so focused and so, so beautiful, that pushes Isak over the edge too. He feels his cock pulsing against the tight fabric of his jeans before he shoots into his underwear, his orgasm sending a shockwave that ripples through his body as if it never wanted to stop and pulling a low grunt that dies when Even collapses on top of him, body heavy and slack, seeming to struggle to remember how to breathe.

Isak feels his hot load become lukewarm and tacky against his softening cock, but he doesn't care. Even has just made him cum, and he has made Even cum. They both just grinded against each other until they came inside their pants like horny teenagers. 

_ What the fuck… _

Isak breathes out an incredulous chuckle that seems to pull Even from his daze. He lifts his head and looks at Isak through heavy half-hooded eyes. His blown pupils contract, the countless hues of blues unfolding in his irises.

“Hi,” Isak smiles.

It should sound stupid, a little bit ridiculous to say to the man he’s living with, spending almost every hour of every day together for the last few weeks and who he had just hooked up with in a moment of drunken abandon. But as he looks at Even, Isak feels like something new, something exciting and unknown is born between them and he feels the need to welcome it, to acknowledge and greet it.

“Hi…” Even murmurs back.

And then, Isak sees it. He sees the clarity and the realisation, he sees the doubt and guilt that suddenly rush through Even’s eyes and before Isak can say anything, do anything to appease him, Even has sat back up on the couch, leaving Isak lost and forsaken, his body instantly missing his weight and warmth of Even’s.

"I um…" Even looks down at his lap where he's nervously wringing his hands, "I think I'm gonna go use the bathroom." he mutters, casting a glance at Isak who gives him a quick smile in return.

"Yeah, of course." he says, as softly as he can, not to push Even in any way.

Even gets up, he seems to hesitate, turns around as if he is going to say something to Isak who holds his breath in expectation, but eventually, Even heads to the bathroom and closes the door behind him.

Isak steps to his bedroom slowly, in a sort of stupor, feeling a little bit dizzy from all the beers he drank, but mainly from what just happened. He reaches for the roll of toilet paper on his nightstand, unbuttons his jeans and wipes what he can of the cum in his briefs as he listens to the shower running down the corridor. He can't stop his mind from wandering to the little bathroom, to imagine Even standing naked under the warm shower and feels his cock showing a renewed interest in the thought. He pushes it to the back of his mind, takes a deep breath to try and calm his stirring emotions. 

When the water stops running, Isak listens more intently to Even busying himself in the bathroom. He hears him open the door and walk in the corridor, he stands straighter in the middle of his room, wondering if Even will come to him, if he will want to talk, if the fear will have disappeared from his eyes. Even’s footsteps stop and Isak feels his breath stall in his throat.

He waits.

“Goodnight, Isak.” Even’s voice calls, small and unsure from the corridor.

“Um… yeah, goodnight.” Isak stutters back, before Even steps into his bedroom and shuts the door.

Isak hears him, almost feels him moving on the other side of their thin shared wall.

This, what happened tonight, whatever it was, is over.

Isak shakes himself out of his thoughts and takes his turn in the bathroom. The place is still filled with the steam from Even’s shower and the zesty fragrance of his shower gel. Isak follows, the outline of his feet still imprinted on the damp floor and throws his underwear on top of Even’s, wadded up in the hamper.

Isak gets under the showerhead, lowers the temperature because Even always takes his showers too hot, and lets the water wash away the traces of what they did on the couch, lets it clean his skin from the cum that has already begun to dry, lets it relax his muscles still buzzing from orgasm.

Some minutes later, Isak slips under his duvet and stares at the ceiling feeling just as confused as content.

“Wow…” he chuckles, shaking his head against his blue pillow before closing his eyes, finding sleep faster than he has in weeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks a lot for reading, I'd be happy to know how this made you feel :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hei peeps,  
> thank you so, so much for the amazingly kind and positive welcome you've given the first chapter of this story, I still can't believe it! this new one was so much fun to write and I really hope you will enjoy reading it too :)
> 
> once again, a huge thank you to my fantastic beta reader for enriching this chapter and making me want to better myself every new text I write.

When he wakes up the next morning, Isak needs a moment to clear his mind clouded by sleep and the headache caused by the amount of alcohol he drank the night before. He resumes staring at the ceiling above his bed, and suddenly, he sees everything that happened last night replaying there like a film on the silver screen.

Even and him, sharing beers on the couch, their conversation leading to Isak admitting how much he missed having sex. Even’s lips, so close. Even’s lips on his own. Even’s lips against the skin of his neck. The weight of Even’s body on top of him, their hard cocks pressed together, the roll of their hips, faster, stronger, the look of ecstasy on Even’s face just seconds before Isak was also cumming harder than he had in a long time.

When Isak awoke moments ago, he momentarily doubted the reliability of his memories, had thought that they were maybe just a weird side effect of his hangover. But now he knows. It wasn’t a dream. No, it was very real and the memory of it all is enough to send a rush of blood to his groin. Isak slides his hand in his briefs, grabs the base of his almost already fully hard dick and gives it a few slow tugs, a shaky exhale escaping his lips. He recalls Even’s hand on his chest, his stomach, imagines him running it lower, imagines it is  _ his  _ hand touching him right now,  _ his  _ fingers circling his cock,  _ his  _ palm stroking his length and Isak has to bite back a whimper.

But just before he’s about to lose himself completely to his fantasy, another image returns to Isak’s mind. He remembers the sudden shock and the guilt on Even’s face when the vapors of alcohol and lust had evaporated just enough for him to realise exactly what they had done.

_ Fuck, this is wrong, this is all wrong… _

Isak stills his hand and tries to calm his breathing. He shouldn’t do that, shouldn’t be touching himself to the memory of something that probably shouldn't have happened, thinking about a man who belongs to someone else. Aman he’d like to be able to continue to call his friend.

Isak gets out of bed, puts on some sweatpants and a hoodie and makes a beeline for the bathroom after he’s confirmed Even is nowhere to be seen in the corridor. When he gets there, Isak splashes cold water on his face and takes a few deep breaths, trying to calm the buzzing sensation running under his skin all the way to his dick, begging for him to resume his previous activity.

A few minutes later when he’s finally ready to get out of the bathroom, Isak notices the hamper in the corner of the room near the door is half empty, rid of the underwear that he knew were there the night before. The proof of their wrongdoings gone from sight. 

Isak gets to the living room and observes the coffee table has also been cleared of the beer bottles he knows they left there the night before, both too dazed and confused to think about cleaning their mess before going to bed. Seeing that Even has worked to clear the entire apartment of any sign of what happened between them adds to the uneasy feeling that still stirs in his stomach since Isak stopped himself from having a morning wank, thinking about Even and the way he touched him.

_ Even… _

Even is there in the open kitchen, scrubbing the already immaculate looking counter, his brows are drawn together in a concentrated frown.

“Morning…” Isak greets him tentatively.

“Oh, hi.” Even perks up, a little bit startled.

“Doing a bit of cleaning?” Isak asks, looking around the apartment, pointing vaguely at the table in the living room.

“Yeah, I brought everything to the recycling bins outside.”

“I could have given you a hand you know.”

“Nah, it’s fine.” Even shrugs, continuing to busy himself in the kitchen and not to look directly at Isak, who feels his heart sink a little bit. “I was up early anyway.”

“Mmh… I see you had time to do the laundry, too.” he says, looking intently at Even, searching for any reaction on his expressionless face to Isak knowing that Even had taken their underwear, dirty with their dried cum, and put them in the washing machine.

“The laundry… right, fuck!” Even grunts, “I forgot to put it in the dryer, it’s been like an hour.”

“Yeah, well it wouldn’t be the first time.” Isak deadpans, cocking an eyebrow at Even.

“Oh come on, give me a break…” he sighs. “I forgot it like twice, three times, tops.”

“Are you kidding? Every time you do the laundry, my clothes come back smelling worse than before.” Isak continues to provoke him.

“You’re so sensitive.” Even rolls his eyes in false exasperation, but Isak hears the amused smile in his voice, senses that Even has momentarily forgotten why his body was so tense and his gaze on Isak so fleeting.

Isak can’t help himself, he laughs. He laughs because that’s how they are, that’s what they do. They tease and make fun of each other, they laugh at their quirks, moods and imperfections. And it feels good, so he laughs until Even looks at him again, his gaze fond, if only slightly hesitant, and then he’s laughing too. It’s soft, a low chuckle but it’s there.

“I should um…” Even flounders, gesturing towards the front door of their apartment, “I should get to the laundry room, so...”

“Even.” Isak grabs his wrist, stopping him.

Even turns back around and looks down where Isak is holding him, preventing him from leaving. He doesn’t look annoyed or awkward, there is a kind of wonder in his eyes, as if he didn’t expect Isak to reach out so openly, as if he didn’t think he’d dare.

“It doesn’t matter, it can wait.” Isak says quietly. “Even are we… are we okay?”

There is a pause, a silence that lasts mere seconds, Even considering his next words. A few seconds that seem to stretch and feel neverending for Isak, who holds his breath while he waits.

“I um… I don’t know.” Even sighs and Isak can see that he knows what he’s said hurt Isak, is hurting them. But Even doesn’t lie and at that moment he looks so honestly lost. “What happened last night… it shouldn’t have.”

“I know.” Isak lets go of Even’s arm. “I know and I’m really sorry. I mean you’re with Sonja and it wasn’t okay for me to-”

“I kissed you.” Even cuts off Isak’s rambling. There is no anger in his voice, no disappointment in himself, no aversion. He says it like it is an indisputable fact, an absolute truth he needed to voice.

“Huh?”

“You’re saying you’re sorry but… I’m pretty sure I’m the one who kissed you... first.”

“You did?” Isak frowns as if he was having difficulties remembering exactly how the events of the night before unfolded when he had just replayed them again in his head, clear as day, minutes before when he was still lying in his bed. “Maybe... but then I think  _ I  _ was the one to, you know pull you down on the couch when we should have just stopped so…”

“You’re right, we should have stopped there but then I…” Even pauses, his eyes locked on a point on Isak’s neck that begins to heat up under his stare. Isak knows what is there, he saw it in the mirror when he went to the bathroom that morning. A reddish mark on his skin, the bruise left there by Even’s lips. He watches Even’s pupils blow and his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat when he swallows. “Then I… I touched you in a way I shouldn’t have so… yeah.” He clears his throat, tearing his eyes away from the dark shade on Isak’s neck.

“We just… had too much to drink.” Isak shrugs. “We were drunk and this entire situation made us all frustrated and anxious and we… didn’t see things very clearly for a moment.”

“Right…”

“It’s no one's fault or… I mean we’re both to blame, I guess.”

“Yeah… no, you’re right.” Even nods as if trying to make sense of all this. “So what… what now?”

“We could… try to put this behind us? Forget it ever happened?” Isak offers cautiously, trying as hard as he can not to rush Even, not to scare him away.

“Okay… yeah, I guess we could do that.”

"I just… I don't want things to get weird between us."

"No, me neither." Even makes a small, tentative movement towards him, and Isak can see a slight shadow in his eyes, the same pain slowly building inside of him at the thought that he could lose Even forever if they don't find a way to get past this.

"I mean, do you realise how hard it would be for me to find a new roommate in the middle of a freaking pandemic, if I have to kick your ass out?"

"Fuck off!" Even burst out laughing and Isak feels like he can breathe again, as if the air exhaled through Even's lips in an outburst of joy had flown right to his lungs. "As if you could find a better roommate than me."

"I could find one who can do laundry, that would certainly be a step up." Isak smirks.

"Whatever." Even brushes him off as he turns away, "I'll go put the damn laundry in the dryer and while I'm there, there's coffee and some toast left for you in the kitchen, because I know you would most definitely starve without me."

"Thank you!!" Isak shouts from the kitchen, half a slice already shoved in his mouth as Even shuts the front door behind him.

Isak pours coffee into the mug Even had put on the counter for him, inhales the comforting smell of the warm, black drink. Isak always makes his coffee too strong, bitter. It's always better when Even prepares it, perfect. He'll ever admit that to him, but Even knows. Isak can see it in the pleased smile he always gives him when Isak has his first sip in the morning and groans contentedly.

Isak smiles.

They'll be alright, he's sure of it.

*******

They are alright.

Things are a little bit awkward at first, they tiptoe around each other for a few days, spend a lot more time on their own in their respective bedrooms and don't seem to know how to properly stand without shuffling around when they share the same space. When they eat together, their conversation is peppered with long silences and nervous chuckles. But after several days, they eventually go back to their easy banter and comfortable cohabitation.

Things return to normal or, maybe not entirely.

Something has changed, something has shifted between them. Almost imperceptible but there in the light blush Isak feels on his cheeks when they smile at each other, in the way Even's eyes continue to linger on the mark that is fading away a little bit more everyday on Isak's neck. In the electricity that fills the air when they accidentally touch.

They both know that it's there, but they don't acknowledge it, or do anything about it. They have agreed to put what happened that night behind them, to forget it ever happened, and so they will. Isak knows they can move past this, he trusts them to be able to do so. But to forget about it... that, he can’t do. The images of that night are engraved in his brain, indelible. So he will keep them hidden inside of him, locked away, a memory kept secret to anybody else, even to the one living in these thoughts. He will carry them for the both of them if that's what it takes for Even to keep him in his life.

_ Will Even be able to do that, to forget? _

*******

They've had a good night, a simple, fun night like they used to.

They ate dinner without any uncomfortable silences or uncertain glances, listened to music sprawled on the living room floor while talking about everything and nothing, laughing as they recalled a party with their friends a few months back, or that week they all spent at a cabin the previous summer, pretty much stoned from dusk till dawn.

Isak goes to bed with the warm, happy feeling of having spent another normal night with Even, smiling at the thought that they are indeed doing this, moving on without things being weird, their friendship strong enough to endure an unfortunate drunken slip.

He sits up in his bed against the wall, mindlessly scrolling through Instagram to keep virtual tabs on how their friends are occupying their time during lockdown. Noora's account has basically become a literary revue page, Elias is going mad, stuck with his parents because he’d been crashing at the family home "just for little while, until he finds a job" when lockdown started, Vilde baked yet another loaf of bread, Sana studies 24/7, while Mahdi is just as chill as always, getting high with his roommates.

He's exchanging a few messages with Jonas, trying to set up an online FIFA tournament with the guys, when Isak's attention is drawn to a sound coming from the other side of the wall.

He knows that sound.

It is the sound of Even's low, laboured breathing that sometimes pierces through the fine separation between their bedrooms late at night, the sound that Isak has sometimes chased, and brought him to his delicious release more than once. Isak knows that sound and now, he also knows the look on Even's face when he makes it. He can see him, as clear as if he was right there before him or, maybe... above him. He sees his mouth slack, opened, he sees his blown pupils, his eyes black and hungry, and the crease between his furrowed brows. 

In seconds Isak is fully hard, desperate to shove his hand inside his briefs and stroke himself to the melody of Even's pleasure. But he can't, it's not right. He promised Even he would forget about everything and here he is, already invading his intimacy like a perv for his own satisfaction. 

Isak grabs his computer and his headphones. He needs to put on a movie or some music, anything that will mute the noises coming from Even's bedroom, anything that will occupy his mind long enough to kill his boner, when he realises Even is getting louder and louder and that is... unusual.

Even knows their walls aren't exactly soundproof. Sometimes they had to ask the other to turn down his music because they needed to concentrate on their studies, or if they had something to say to each other but were too lazy to move, they’d simply shout through the wall. Even has, more than once, flashed Isak a teasing, impressed smile when he'd had company that was a little too vocal the night before, or an apologetic look if he knew he and Sonja had not been as quiet as they'd tried to be.

He knows there is no way Isak is not hearing him right now, of course he knows.

And still, he's getting even louder, which can only mean one thing.

He wants Isak to hear.

He wants him to know exactly what he’s doing.

He didn’t know it was possible but the thought makes Isak’s dick even harder, painfully so.

Alright, two can play this game.

He sheds the duvet from around his waist, shoves his underwear down and sighs when his dick bounces back against his stomach, red, hot and already dripping precum. Even may seem to be way ahead of him, if the sounds emanating from his bedroom are any indication, but Isak only has to give his dick a few strokes to know he’s not gonna last long, too turned on by Even’s little game.

Isak instinctively bites his lower lip to stifle the moans threatening to burst out from his throat, as he usually does every time he touches himself while Even is in the apartment, too. But then, he realises he doesn’t have to. Instead, he tells Even he’s heard him, understood him and now he’s joined him too. His whimpers and moans fill his bedroom from floor to ceiling as his hand continues to work faster and faster. He’s so close already, every nerve-ending under his skin tingling with pleasure, his lungs burning with every breath he takes, his cock throbbing with every noise Even makes.

Isak closes his eyes, attempting to imagine Even on the other side of the wall. Is he leaning against the wall right behind Isak or lying on his bed, his back arched with the forceful rush of pleasure running through his body? Does he still have clothes on or is he completely bare, his lean body on full display even though there is no one in his bedroom to see him? Is his cock just as glorious as Isak has imagined it, way more often than he’d care to admit?

Even moans so loudly Isak is sure he can feel the wall vibrate against his back and his cry, mixed with the the deliciously dirty picture Isak is painting in his mind, suddenly push Isak over the edge, his cock pulsing with ropes of cum that he feels splashing all over his chest and stomach. He cries out, wants Even to know he’s coming, hard, wants him to know what he did to him, but at the last second, he still stops himself from shouting his name.

Through the deafening rush of blood to his ears, Isak is still able to hear Even cumming too, his moans like an echo to Isak’s cries of ecstasy.

Isak wipes the cum from his skin, feeling faintly dizzy from his orgasm, but if he still has trouble gathering his thoughts, there is one thing he’s now sure of.

Even cannot forget either.

*******

Isak knows they should talk about what happened the night before, he knows they shouldn’t ignore it and get on with their lives as if nothing had happened, but he can’t seem to find a moment in the day to sit down with Even to discuss what they did and agree on where to go from there.

Isak wakes up late and has barely enough time to fill a mug with coffee before he begins an entire day of back-to-back online classes. Not a single one seems to want to run smoothly, people are late, or their connection is bad, or they can’t hear their professor and Isak can feel himself grow increasingly frustrated with each hour that passes until, at the end of the day, he slams his laptop shut and stands from his desk chair with a loud exasperated groan.

“You’re okay?” Isak turns around to find Even, leaning against the doorframe, arms folded across his chest.

“Yeah it’s nothing, just fucking online classes are so frustrating. It never works properly. And I was reminded that I have a paper due next week, which I totally forgot about so I’m gonna have to work all weekend and-” 

He has been so busy all day with uni work, so annoyed with his classes that Isak momentarily forgets what he has planned to discuss with Even. Right now he’s just standing in front of his friend, being listened to as he unloads all his frustration.

It is only when Even pushes himself off the doorway and takes a few steps towards him with his slow, supple walk that it all comes back to Isak. He feels the atmosphere suddenly change, becoming thicker and electric.

“You need to relax, take your mind off work for a minute.” Even smiles but his eyes are boring into Isak’s with an intensity he’s never seen before. “Maybe I can help you with that?”

"Huh?"

Normally it would mean smoking weed. Even would do something ridiculous like wiggle his eyebrows or attempt to wink in like, a sort of secret code, even if only the two of them are in their apartment, before pulling a perfectly rolled joint out of his pocket or from behind his ear as if it had been magically waiting there in case Isak needed it. But he’s not laughing now, and Isak knows he’s not offering weed.

With another slow step, Even now stands in front of Isak, so close Isak has to tilt his head up slightly to look him in the eyes.

"Isak?"

"Yes?"

"Are you mad at me for... what I did last night?" he asks, his voice is soft, but Isak can see the apprehension his eyes cannot hide.

"No, I'm not… I'm not mad." Isak shakes his head, his voice weak, betraying how affected he is by the proximity of their bodies.

"What happened that first night…" Even murmurs and brings his hand to Isak's cheek who closes his eyes as he nuzzles his palm and exhales shakily. "I just can't forget about it… I haven't been able to think about anything else." he continues, his breath like another caress on Isak's skin, his lips so close that Isak only has to lean in slightly and they are kissing again, both of them sighing when their lips connect, as if they had been holding their breath, waiting for this moment.

Isak puts a hand behind Even’s neck, holds him as close as he can while he deepens their kiss, lets his tongue have another taste of Even’s lips, and pushes inside his mouth. Even moans and answers by wrapping his arm around Isak’s waist, pressing their bodies together.

When they break the kiss, Isak presses their foreheads together, both of them panting. “Me neither.” Isak whispers looking down between their bodies, afraid to let Even see just how wanting and desperate he is.

Even presses his lips to his cheek, he kisses his jaw, his neck, the sensitive spot just behind his ear and it is simultaneously so hot and tender, Isak feels his knees get weak, knows that he would probably collapse on the ground if Even didn’t still have his arm around his waist.

“I want to touch you…” Even breathes out against his ear like a secret. “ _ Really _ touch you… can I?”

“Yes.” Isak whimpers when Even resumes leaving a trail of wet kisses along the column of his neck. “Yes, Even touch me.”

Even grabs the hem of Isak’s tee-shirt and pulls it off, then in a swift movement he gets rid of his own and lets it join Isak’s in a pile at their feet. Even wraps himself around Isak and the contact of all this skin – their chests pressed together, hands roaming, mouths devouring  _ –  _ makes Isak’s head spin.

Even unbuttons Isak’s pants and takes another step forward causing Isak to lose his balance and fall back into his desk chair. Isak’s eyes widen when he sees Even kneeling in front of him in an almost reverent motion. He lets his hands run up Isak’s thighs and if this still sends a shiver through his body, Isak is just desperate to feel them on his skin again. When Even’s hands reach his hips, he takes hold of Isak’s opened jeans and pulls them down, enough to release his cock. He pauses for a moment, adoringly watching the parts of Isak’s body that now lay uncovered before his eyes. Isak is already so hard and desperate for Even to touch him that he is about to whine in protest but the look in Even’s eyes is so full of marvel and hunger that he doesn’t dare to. He lets him look, reveling in the intensity of his gaze, and how desirable it makes him feel.

Isak gasps when Even finally takes his cock in his hand and begins to stroke him slowly. He lets his head fall back with a moan when Even rubs his thumb on the head and gathers some of the precum already dripping there to ease the slide of his hand and quicken its movement. Isak closes his eyes tightly and squeezes the armrests of his chair.

“Oh God…” Isak groans when he suddenly senses the wet heat of Even’s mouth around the tip of his cock. He looks down at the man kneeling between his thighs, meets Even’s blue eyes for a second before he shuts them, concentrating on his task, his hand still rubbing Isak’s dick as his gorgeous lips stretch to take him deeper and deeper in his mouth.

The picture he sees takes Isak’s breath away, almost makes him cum right now but he holds himself together, cannot imagine finishing before he’s had the chance to enjoy this divine experience. 

Isak lets go of the armrests and brings his hands to Even’s head, runs his fingers through his hair, accompanies the movements of his head, never forcefully, guiding him gently. Even responds with a moan that vibrates against his dick and Isak has to stop himself from thrusting his hips up and sliding his cock deeper into Even’s throat.

“Fuck, Even… oh God, please don’t stop.” Isak begs although Even is clearly enjoying what he’s doing and doesn’t show any sign of wanting to stop. He only bobs his head faster, hollows his cheeks and takes him even deeper. 

Isak feels himself getting close, so close, his entire body starts to quiver with the waves of pleasure running through him.

“Even,” he whimpers, tugging on his hair to warn him he should pull off now. “Even, God I’m so close, I’m gonna-”

Even looks up at him, his eyes boring into Isak’s through his lashes, dark, determined. He lets his tongue swirl around the head of his cock and just like that, Isak cums inside his mouth, unable to hold on any longer. He feels his dick pulsing, shooting rope after rope that Even keeps taking, swallowing everything until the last drop before letting Isak’s spent, sensitive cock slip out of his mouth.

Isak takes him in, his glassy eyes and ruined mouth, he raises his hand with the last force he has left and brushes his thumb against Even’s red and puffy lips, feeling his wet, hot breath against his fingertips. 

He leans forward, replacing his thumb with his mouth, kisses Even’s lips softly before sliding his exhausted body down the chair to meet him on the floor, letting his head rest in the crook of Even’s neck. 

“Was it… good?” Even asks nervously, his pulse suddenly racing under the soft skin where Isak has laid his cheek.

Isak knows Even only had a few hook-ups with guys here and there when he and Sonja were on yet another break. He took these opportunities to explore this side of his sexuality, but he isn’t very experienced and hasn’t been with a man in quite a long time, since his relationship found seeming stability. And okay, maybe it wasn’t the most technically perfect blowjob Isak had ever received, maybe it was just a little bit sloppier than most, maybe he wasn't capable of deepthroating him like a fucking porn star but still it was… it was...

“It was so good… fuck, Even it was amazing.” Isak raises his head to look Even in the eyes and let him see just how much he means every word.

“Yeah?” he smiles sheepishly. How can those lips look so shy and almost innocent only mere minutes after taking Isak apart?

“Yeah.” Isak chuckles, his heart speeding up at the sight of Even’s pleased grin.

_ Fuck… so much for forgetting all about it and moving on. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading, I hope you liked this
> 
> you can find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/naughtyevak) :)


	3. Chapter 3

“Sooo…  _ that  _ happened.” Isak chuckles as they’re sitting on the floor, leaning against his bed after having put their clothes back on, still working on finding their breath and their senses.

“I um… yeah.” Even fumble nervously for his words.

Isak wants to reach out, to touch him and let him know that everything’s fine, that they are alright. But he doesn’t know if he can. If he’s allowed to.

After he’d come down from his euphoric high, Isak had wanted to return the favour but Even gently stopped him, assuring Isak that “ _ he was fine” _ , whatever that meant. Isak’s dying to see Even, all of him, to touch Even like he had touched him, but he doesn’t insist. Isak knows he can’t push Even right after what they’d done Isak knows that he needs to let Even come to terms with what happened. Although Even had been the one to instigate their not so solitary game the night before, and then to pursue this, to offer himself for Isak's pleasure, although Isak had not seen the same confusion and guilt dawn on Even like that first time, he can feels how fragile Even’s confidence is and wouldn't risk doing anything that could make it break.

“I just… you seemed so stressed and frustrated and I…” Even trails off, shaking his head slightly as he bites his lip. “I just felt the urge to… make you feel better, to make you feel good.” he murmurs, his eyes roaming Isak’s face timidly.

“You know that if you wanted to help me relax, you could've just made me a cup of your disgusting dried leaves infused in hot water.” Isak smirks.

“You mean herbal tea?”

“Yeah, whatever, you fucking hipster.” Isak rolls his eyes at Even who lets his warm, joyful laugh fill the room and lessen the distance between them.

“You know,” Even ponders. “...when a song gets stuck in your head and the only way to get rid of it is by singing it at the top of your lungs once and for all?”

“Yeah…” Isak scoffs. “Even, are you saying my dick was like a song that was stuck in your head or something?”

“No, that's…” Even winces, trying to come up with a better way of explaining himself but then shaking his head when he fails. “Yeah, something like that?” 

“And blowing me was your version of... singing it at the top of your lungs?” Isak laughs because he just can’t help himself anymore. This is most probably the most ridiculous thing he has ever heard. But then, it’s Even, so he can’t help being more fond and amused than annoyed at the outrageously ludicrous way he’s trying to make sense of what they did. 

“Oh shut up!” Even groans but he can’t seem to help the small grin that pulls on the corner of his lip. “Stop being so cocky. And the important thing here is the  _ once and for all _ , okay? So that's done, for good this time. I’m really sorry, because I know we said we’d forget about what happened and move on but-”

“Even.” Isak cuts off his rambling. “Stop apologizing, it’s fine. I mean I can’t say I didn’t enjoy the… performance or whatever.”

“You’re not gonna let me get away with this are you?”

They look at each other for a moment before bursting out laughing again because, yes, this really is the most absurd conversation they’ve ever had.

“No, I'm not. But for now, how about we just… go have something to eat because I’m fucking starving, okay?” Isak asks, like some kind of peace offering.

“What?” Isak frowns when Even doesn’t respond but looks at him with a pleased smile and an amused sparkle in his eye.

“Nothing you just… you told me once that you always get super hungry when you’ve had a really good shag.” he says, cocking his eyebrow at Isak.

“Me?! I never said that.” Isak scoffs, his stomach adding to his embarrassment when it growls loudly. “And besides, I didn’t have time to have lunch between fucking online classes and your horny ass jumping me so, yeah… just shut up and help me fix something, okay?”

“As you like.” Even winks at a falsely exasperated Isak before they head to the kitchen where, as usual, Even ends up being the only one cooking, Isak watching him while he sips a beer, his legs dangling from where he’s sitting on the counter.

*******

So after what Even did, and just like the first time, they agree that it wouldn’t happen again. Or well, Even makes Isak understand with his weird analogy that it was a “once and for all” time.

But still, Isak sees how Even looks at him when they’re having a casual conversation, when they’re both reading or watching TV and he thinks Isak doesn't see him, when they meet in the kitchen for coffee in the morning or when Isak gets out of the bathroom, water dripping from his curly hair onto his bare chest.

He sees how Even looks at him, always something different in his stare but its intensity never wavering. He sees the elation, the curiosity, the want. It is in every smile, in every look, in every breath caught in their throat when they cross paths in the narrow corridor and their bodies brush against the other. It's in the sound of every faltering laugh and in every blush on their skin.

Isak knows that Even sees it too, that he feels it too.

*******

“You’re not paying attention.” Even says quietly but very matter of factly, without making a movement, his gaze fixed on the television.

They’re half-lying on the couch, both of them leaning on an armrest on one end, and no, Isak is not paying attention. He’s not paying attention because he feels his skin buzzing every time their feet touch where they meet in the middle of the couch. He can’t even remember what film Even is making him watch tonight, and he couldn’t catch up with what’s going even if he wanted to anyway, because it’s in Japanese and he hasn’t read a single line of subtitles in probably twenty minutes, too absorbed by his meticulous observation of Even’s profile. Of the way the light coming from the screen reflects in his eyes and creates dancing shadows under every angle of his face, too entranced by every smile or frown Even makes in response to whatever is going on in the film.

“Not really, no,” Isak sighs. “Can’t concentrate.”

“How’s that?” Even asks, still looking ahead but Isak can feel he’s the one who has his attention now.

“I think I have a song stuck in my head.” Isak smirks even if Even can’t see him. He knows Even can hear it in his voice, knows exactly what he’s really saying anyway. “Can’t really think about anything else right now…”

Isak gives Even a light, playful kick and lets his foot linger there against Even, who finally turns his head to look at him, his blue eyes wide and probing.

“Oh? Wha… what are you thinking about then?” he asks in a strangled murmur.

Isak gets on his knees and slowly crawls over Even’s body, watching his eyes darken and his breathing get quicker as he gets closer, eyes fixed on Even like a wild animal not wanting to lose sight of his prey. Isak wants this, and he knows Even wants it too. He has given him all the time and the space he needed but he’s done waiting for him to make another move. It’s his turn now.

“I’m thinking…” Isak murmurs against Even’s lips, when he has finally reached him, his body overlying Even’s, their faces only a few centimeters apart. “I’m thinking that I never got the chance to see you, all of you, that I never got the chance to properly touch you and I don’t think that’s very fair… do you?”

“It’s... it’s not?” Even swallows heavily, his eyes flickering over Isak’s face, lingering on his lips before he looks back into his eyes when Isak hums, shaking his head.

“No… and I think that if we want to consider this thing over and done with, we should both have the opportunity to get rid of that little song stuck in our heads. Right?”

“Yeah…” Even breathes out shakily. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“Good.” Isak smiles before finally pressing his lips against Even’s, who lets the lowest whimper escape his mouth, the small sound betraying the way he had been waiting for this, wanting, craving this just as much as Isak.

That mere thought sets a fire inside Isak, a need to take, to have and to possess Even if only for this one time. So he takes his mouth first, forces his lips open with his tongue before pushing in. He licks, he sucks on Even’s tongue and swallows his moans with a hunger he’s never felt before. He wants, wants, wants and Even lets him have it. Even melts under Isak’s touch and lets him have it all. 

Isak sits back on Even’s thighs and quickly works to get rid of their hoodies and tee-shirts until he has Even half-naked under him, his chest flushed and heaving rapidly. Isak dives in for Even's lips, kisses him hot and messy before moving to his jaw, his long neck, kissing and sucking and biting until he's satisfied with the marks and bruises he's left on the pale, delicate skin, and has left Even squirming between his thighs and whimpering his name.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of you..." he whispers against the shell of Even's ear, feeling a wave of shivers everywhere his hands are touching Even's skin.

His mouth continues his path down Even’s neck, kisses the hollow curve between his collarbones. He explores his chest with his lips, sucks on each nipple and revels in the moans Even makes as the small pink buds get hard under Isak’s tongue. 

“Fuck, Isak…” Even’s entire body quivers with Isak’s ministrations as he continues to travel lower, to explore the soft lines of Even’s lean body, his firm stomach, leaving goosebumps on his way where his light stubble brushes Even’s smooth skin.

Isak leans back and lets his hands retrace the path he just took, caress every inch of skin and feel Even's muscles tensing in response. With a brush of his fingertips, he follows the golden fuzzy line starting at his navel and going down until it disappears under the waistband of his jeans. Isak stills for a moment, lets his fingers rest on the silvery button and glances up at Even who looks like he’s on a high, mouth agape, half-lidded eyes that follows Isak’s every movement, entranced and eager.

“You can…” Even nods. “Please go on, please…” he pleads, already gasping for air. 

“Okay.” Isak murmurs with a soft smile before finally undoing the button and pulling the zipper down slowly, feeling the bulge of Even’s erection push desperately against the fabric.

He pulls Even’s pants all the way down his long legs before discarding them on the floor and bringing his hands back to Even’s waist. Isak can feel them trembling as he is finally about to get rid of the one small garment that is left between him and the object of his haunting desires. He slowly draws the outline of Even’s cock with his fingers, feels it blind one last time and his breath hitches when he grasps how big, how hard it is, how pulsing it gets under his light touches.

Even is panting and Isak can see how flushed his chest is getting, how he bites his lips probably to prevent his lips from betraying just how desperate he is for Isak to finally give him what he needs. Isak feels how strong Even’s hands are holding on to his thighs. But Even doesn’t push him, doesn’t take his hands to bring them where he wants them, doesn’t beg anymore, gives no order. He lies there, patient, lets Isak take his time to explore his body and decide how or when he wants to begin taking care of him. This trust, this total abandon to Isak’s hands and desires strike him with an overwhelming sense of fondness for the man tackled under his body and a new wave of hunger that finally pushes him to rip the last piece of clothing off of Even.

When he can finally take in Even completely – his entire body bare and spread before him for his gaze only, his cock, just as glorious as Isak had pictured it if not more, standing hard and red against the fair skin of his stomach, a blue vein running along his length like the lines on a perfect piece of marble – Isak suddenly feels lightheaded.

_ God, he’s so beautiful _ , Isak thinks. So entirely, overwhelmingly, undeniably beautiful. His body is something of an ideal, an aesthetic canon that would indeed have deserved to be sculpted in the most beautiful, hardest and most precious marble.

“You’re so fucking hot…” he says in a low, hoarse voice, settling for a more forward compliment, not yet daring to express the lyrical contemplations Even’s body enkindled in him.

“Come here.” Even reaches for Isak and pulls him back to his mouth for a languid, searing kiss that has them both moaning against each other’s lips.

Isak slides his hand between their two bodies and finally puts his hand on what he had been so hopelessly lusting after. He wraps his fingers around the base of Even’s rock-hard cock and begins to stroke him slowly, wanting to have a first thorough feel of it, to appreciate its girth fitting perfectly in his hand and the softness of its skin against his palm. He wants to observe and retain every reaction on Even’s face, every hitch of his breath and every shiver on his body when he tugs on his cock, when he adds some pressure or a twist of his wrist.

“Fuck, that feels so good…” Even whimpers, barely breaking their kiss.

“I’m gonna make it even better.” Isak stills his hand and chuckles when Even whines in frustration. “It’ll take a second, don’t move okay?” he asks, pressing a light peck on Even’s lips before getting up from the couch.

“Yeah, well, I don’t exactly have anywhere to go, do I?” Even tries to joke but it comes out as more of a pained groan.

“Shut up smartass, I’ll be quick.” Isak runs to his bedroom and fumbles through the mess in the drawer of his bedside table to grab his half-empty bottle of lube.

_ Might wanna add that to the next shopping list… _

He returns to the living room and feels himself flush all over when his eyes set on Even’s body lying languorously on their sofa. For one fleeting second, Isak had almost thought this had to be some kind of dream, a trick of his lustful imagination, and that he didn’t really have this gorgeous man stark-naked and waiting for him, all his to take and worship.

“Fuck…” he mutters as he watches Even cupping his erection, not getting off but allowing himself just enough friction to ease the pressure in his cock which has to be achingly hard by the look of it.

“Take these off.” Even instructs him in a low, firm voice that makes Isak’s heart bolt and blood rush to his groin.

Isak throws the bottle of lube next to Even on the couch and immediately begins to unbutton his pants, following his instructions. For a second, he’s tempted to tease Even by going slow, to give him a bit of a show while he’s touching himself, but he’s so desperate to have his hands on him again that he hurries to take his jeans off instead, almost stumbling down on the ground when his feet get all tangled up with his pants in his precipitation.

He straddles Even and dives in for his neck. “I’m back… missed me?” Isak mumbles between kisses as he feels around for the lube and uncaps the bottle, the mere sound making him shiver in anticipation.

“Yes, you fucking tease. So please just get on with it, will ya?”

“Mmh… bossy now? I like it.” Isak smirks, rubbing some lube between his fingers before reaching down for Even’s cock, the delicious glide of his lubed-up hand making them both moan in delight.

“Yes! Fuck yes, this feels so good…  _ ah! ah! _ Isak, yes…” Words and whines flow out of Even’s mouth as Isak strokes him faster and harder. The squelching sound of his wet hand tugging Even’s cock combined with the cries filling the room making Isak’s head spin.

Even runs his hands down Isak’s back, sending a shiver along his spine, and slides them under the elastic waistband of his briefs until they reach the curve of his ass. 

“You like that?” he purrs, kneading Isak’s cheeks.

“Mmh…” Isak only whimpers in response.

Even’s right hand travels to Isak’s hip, then continues to caress its way to the front of Isak’s body and to his hard and dripping cock. Isak’s entire body shudders at the touch but if his hand gets slightly shaky for an instant, he stays focused on Even and on making him feel good first.

“I wanna feel you too,” Even says in a sultry murmur and Isak knows there is nothing he could refuse if asked in that voice. “I want you to cum too, with me. Do you want that?”

“Yeah… fuck, yes!” Isak pants as Even shoves his briefs down his thighs before pulling him down by the hips until Isak can align their cocks and take them both in his hand. 

They both release a loud litany of  _ yes-fuck-oh-god-yeah  _ that eventually dies down when the words in their mouths are relaced by the other’s ravenous tongue.

The pressure of their cocks lined up together, the sweet glide of their soft skins moving smoothly, Isak’s own pleasure firing up inside of him in harmony with Even’s, it’s all so much, so good, so fucking good that Isak is starting to lose his breath.

He looks down at their cocks, joined together in the tight channel of his hand, going in and out his fist, the tip of his own cock dripping precum down on Even’s and he becomes desperate to make them both cum, together. He wants to see Even’s cock and his own shoot in unison and make a mess between their two bodies.

“Are you close? I’m… fuck, I’m so close.” Even pants as if he had been aware of Isak’s thoughts, or sharing the exact same fantasy.

“Yeah, me too.”

“You’re gonna cum? Gonna…  _ aaaah! _ ... gonna cum with me?”

“Yes… yeah fuck!”

When Isak feels Even’s body shaking under his own and his fingers pressing so hard in the flesh of his ass that he can't help wonder if he’ll see the mark of his hold on his skin later, Isak stops holding back. He feels himself falling over the edge and he knows Even is right there with him.

Seconds after, they both start to cum and Isak watches, fascinated, as they shoot ropes and ropes of cum all over Even’s chest, his stomach and all over his own hands, adding to its slide as he continues to move, to stroke and prolong their orgasm, milking them out until the last drop, until they both begin to shiver with how sensitive their dicks have become.

Isak presses his forehead against Even's, closing his eyes as he tries to find his breath, small white dots dancing behind his eyelids. Even’s hands are roaming all over his back in a soft, comforting caress that makes his heart swell.

When he feels confident that the motion will not make his head spin, Isak sits back up on Even’s thighs and look at the mess they made on his body, the fruits of their bliss mixed all over his skin, so dirty an so, so fucking hot.

“Fucking hell, Isak…” He glances up when he ears Even’s ragged voice to find him shaking his head, a rapturous smile on his gorgeous lips.

*******

“So are you satisfied now that we’re  _ even _ ?” Even asks him later when they have recovered from their orgasmic high and cleaned up, taking turns in the bathroom.

He smiles, this devilish crooked smile of his that makes Isak want to pin him down and kiss it off his face.

“Sure…” he shrugs. Isak is trying to seem detached and casual, but the thought of never touching Even again when he’s finally had a taste of his body that has only deepened his thirst for him seems insufferable. “I guess we both got our  _ once and for all _ , so now we can stop this.” he continues, trying to probe Even’s eyes for the same feeling, the same craving, the same hunger still growing inside of him. But Even keeps them down, fixed on a loose thread on the bottom of his tee-shirt he’s trying to rip off, only undoing the seam some more every time he pulls on it.

“Yeah…” he murmurs. “I mean that was the deal and, well…it’s the right thing to do.” He says as if he’s trying to convince himself of his own words, before letting go of the loose thread with an exasperated sigh at the mess he’s made. 

Isak only hums in response.

He knows what he wants to say next, but he is afraid. The next words that are going to come out of his mouth could cost him so much. They could cost him his friendship with Even, the balance that they found together in these tough times, or even everything they’ve built together over the past couple of years they’ve been living together. He could ruin all that with the next words that he wants to say but then, he doesn’t think he’ll be able to silence them. So Isak takes in a long, steady breath.

“Even?” he calls him, making Even finally look him in the eyes. And yes, it is there. Isak can see it in the deep blue of Even’s eyes, he sees the same desire that burns inside of him with an intensity that almost leaves him speechless.

Almost.

“I don’t want to stop.”

“You don’t?”

“No.” he says firmly, his gaze fixed on Even, not willing to leave him any possibility of retreat. “Do you?”

Even opens and closes his mouth a few times, before shaking his head like he’s too stunned to find the words he’s trying to say to Isak.

“No…” he eventually breathes out before chuckling joyfully, as if delightedly surprised at his own boldness for daring to express this forbidden desire out loud. “No, I know I should but… I don’t want to stop either.”

“Okay.” Isak begins to feel his cheeks tingle with the force of his smile but he can’t bring himself to care when he sees this joy mirrored on Even’s face.

“Okay.” Even repeats, both of them seeming at lost for words, as if they didn’t really believe the other would agree to this and didn’t know what to say or where to go from there. What is the etiquette exactly in this situation? What politeness should one say and what protocol should one follow when two close friends and roommates, one of them in a serious relationship, agree to keep on having sex with each other? How does one seal such a contract?

“So what happens now… I mean how should we do that?” Even asks, pulling them both out of their dazed reverie.

“I um… I think we should maybe set some rules?”

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.” Even nods. “So… this is going to happen only until lockdown is over, as soon as we’re free to go back to our normal lives, we stop.”

“Or even before,” Isak adds. “If one of us wants to stop, we stop. No questions asked.”

“Yes, of course. And if anything makes us uncomfortable we just talk about it, okay?”

“What, am I about to find out about some weird kinks of yours?” Isak smirks.

“What? No!!” Even laughs, shoving him playfully. “All I’m saying is-”

“I know what you’re saying,” Isak chuckles. “You’re right, if anything makes one of us uncomfortable, we stop and talk about it. What else?”

“Well, um,” Even stammers, suddenly seeming slightly more tense. “I guess it was obvious but… this stays between us, yeah?”

“Of course.”

“I mean, we don’t talk about it to anybody else, not even Jonas or Mikael even if we know they would never betray any of our secrets.”

“Not even Jonas, I promise.” Isak assures him.

“Okay.”

“Even,” Isak says softly, sensing that Even still needs to be reassured, that this little nagging fear still refuses to let him go entirely. “I know you’re with Sonja, I don’t want to cause you any problem with her. When this is all over, you go back to her and I’m still free to do whatever I want with whoever I want. Nothing will have to change.  _ This _ ,” Isak continues, gesturing between the two of them, “...will only last the duration of lockdown, or even less, and nobody will ever know about it. We’re friends, we trust each other and, well… we obviously like touching each other, but this is just sex, nothing more. It doesn’t have to mean any more than that. Okay?”

“Okay, deal.” Even states, handing out his hand to Isak.

Isak snorts at Even’s overly serious gesture, it looks like they’ve just agreed on some business transaction and, well, maybe that’s indeed what they’ve done. When Even raises his eyebrows at him expectantly, Isak sighs and gives him a playful eye roll before taking his hand in his own. They stay still for a moment, palms pressed together, Even’s index finger gently tracing small circles on the inside of Isak’s wrist, before finally shaking hands to seal their pact.

“Deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading, for continuing to support this story or for joining me in this ride!  
> I'm really having a lot of fun writing this story and sharing it with you guys.
> 
> if you want to, let me know what this made you feel. I really love reading your feedbacks.
> 
> you can find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/naughtyevak) :)  
> see you soon for the next chapter!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hei peeps,  
> thank you so much for your amazing response to the previous chapter, I was completely over the moon :) this one was one of the chapters I was the most excited about and I really loved writing it (so much that it's already here, on freaking wednesday, what?!). I hope you'll like it too!

“Good morning!” Even beams when Isak joins him in the kitchen the next day, a French press full of steaming fresh coffee on the table and a cup waiting for him.

“Hi.” Isak smiles back and walks to the table where he stills, unsure of what he’s supposed to say or do. Even looks at him, his gaze warm but also hesitant, his body almost fidgety as if unsure whether to make a move towards Isak or not. Touch him or not.

“This is weird…” Isak frowns. “Does it feel weird?”

“Yeah, a little bit.” Even chuckles, easing almost instantly the awkward feeling inside Isak that made him wonder if this entire thing wasn’t the worst idea they’d ever had. “I mean… I was wondering if I should kiss you good morning but it doesn’t feel right, does it?”

“Not really, no.” Isak laughs, relieved that they didn’t let that first uneasiness already make things weird between them. They can do this, talk about how they feel or how they think they should do this.

They can handle it.

“It does feel a bit too...” Isak continues. “I don’t know, relationship-y?”

“Right.” Even agrees, his smile supportive, if only slightly amused.

“ _ This _ , what we agreed on last night, it’s not supposed to change what we are…” Isak says, his back to Even as he fumbles through the kitchen cupboards for a box of cereal and a bowl. “We hook-up when we feel like it but in between, we should act the same as before.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Even nods. “So… no kissing in-between?”

“No kissing. Or cuddling or holding hands or whatever…”

“Holding hands?” Even snorts out a laugh.

“Oh, shut up!” Isak rolls his eyes as he pours some milk into his bowl of cereal. “You know what I mean.”

“I do.” Even smiles, his head tilted to the side in that fond way that Isak can’t help finding so endearing and almost regretting that whole ‘ _ no kissing if we’re not hooking-up’ _ thing. “So, new rule then?”

“Yes, new rule.”

“Deal.” Even winks, bringing his coffee cup to his mouth to take a sip and before licking his lips in a way that’s a bit too suggestive for Isak’s liking. He rolls his eyes at Even again and soon, they go back to a natural, easy conversation while having breakfast, as if it was any other mundane morning.

*******

They add news rules to their contract every few days, like the next time they get each other off and end up chests and hands dripping with each other’s cum. They both desperately want to hit the shower and hesitate for a moment, contemplating if they should do that together or not.

“I don’t know… I mean we can do stuff in the shower but just washing each other, that seems kinda intimate, no?” Isak frowns as he tries to wipe most of the mess they'd made on his torso with some tissues.

“Mh… yeah, maybe you’re right.” Even hums, a small grin burgeoning on his lips. “So no shower except shower sex?”

“Yes.” Isak confirms, getting up to take the first turn in the bathroom.

“Okay, deal.” Even chuckles behind him. “Oh and before you go, when you mentioned ‘ _ stuff in the shower _ ’, what did you have in mind exactly?” Even asks, as Isak heads outside his bedroom.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” he smirks before disappearing out the doorway.

“Oh, I very much intend to find out!” Even shouts, hearing Isak laughing from the corridor in response.

.

The next one is set one night when Isak feels himself dozing off against Even’s chest, their bodies pressed together, long legs all tangled up together. He just feels so warm and cozy. This bed is more comfortable than his, the sheets are softer and Even has made him cum twice in the last hour so Isak really doesn’t feel like moving at all. But, right as he is about to fall asleep  _ –  _ a lot quicker and easier than usual  _ – _ Even’s deep voice brings him back to consciousness.

“Isak,” he murmurs, lips pressed in his curls.

“Mmh?”

“You should go to bed.” Even continues with a voice soft as velvet that still bursts Isak’s comfy bubble. “I’m pretty sure falling asleep together goes against the ‘ _ no cuddles rule, _ ’ don’t you think?”

“Yeah, I guess it does.” Isak reluctantly leaves the warmth of Even’s embrace to sit up on the bed, rubbing his eyelids already heavy with sleep. “New rule: no sleeping in each other’s bed.”

“Deal.” Even watches Isak feeling around for his stuff, scattered all around the dark bedroom, a small smile on his lips.

“Goodnight.” Isak whispers, a heap of rumpled clothes in his arms, feeling somewhat awkward now that he is standing naked in the middle of the bedroom, Even watching him make his exit from the comfort of his bed.

“Goodnight, Isak.”

Isak goes back to his room and slides under his comforter. His bed is cold, empty and Isak eventually twists and turns for another hour, wondering if Even has already found sleep on the other side of the wall.

.

Another day, Isak is squirming on his bed, moaning as Even strokes his dick with his lubed-up hand and leaves a trail of wet, open-mouthed kisses all over his chest and his neck. And as Isak feels himself finally reach his orgasm, feels his entire body burn and tremble, Even brushes the shell of his ear, his hot breath sending a shiver down Isak’s spine, and whispers, “Are you close? You’re gonna cum for me, baby?”

“Huh, what?!” Isak suddenly stills and looks at Even with wide eyes.

“Uh… sorry, I just…” Even stutters, his hand now immobile around Isak’s painfully hard cock, only a few strokes away from finally cumming.

“It’s alright, it’s fine, continue.” Isak pulls him down for a sloppy kiss as he thrusts his hips up to get some friction again, Even resuming his movements instantly. “Yes, Even, I’m so close –  _ aaah! ah! _ – please don’t stop! Fuck!”

A few minutes later, they’re sitting side by side on the couch, an uncomfortable silence having replaced the cries of ecstasy that resonated between the walls moments before.

“Sorry about earlier,” Isak suddenly blurts out when he can’t stand the awkwardness anymore “I just… you calling me ‘baby’ kinda threw me off a little bit.”

“I know, I didn’t really think about it, it was just a spur of the moment thing. Sorry about that…”

“No, it’s fine.” Isak shakes his head. “I just don’t think we should like, call each other pet names, you know? I mean, what if one day one of us let it slip in front of the guys or… in front of Sonja?” Her name feels bitter on his tongue.

“You’re right, we shouldn’t take that risk....” Even agrees, his voice suddenly slightly colder, a distance between them that wasn’t there before.

“Yeah and also-”

“What?” Even turns his head towards Isak, a worried crease between his brows.

“Nothing, nevermind, it’s stupid.” Isak brushes it off before getting up from the couch. “Just, new rule: no pet name. Deal?”

“Deal.” Even agrees but before Isak can walk away, he grabs him by the wrist, stopping him in his movement. 

“Isak,” he says, looking right into Isak’s eyes with an intensity that makes his skin flush. “I don’t call her that... ‘Baby.’ I never call her that.”

“Oh.”

“I just… thought you should know.”

“Okay.”

Even lets go of his wrist and Isak instantly misses the contact of his fingers, he wants to curl up against Even’s body and feel his hands on his skin with a tenderness that would have no other agenda. But they have rules, no cuddling between hook-ups, and now no pet names either.

.

So they make do with these rules they come up with along the way, and it’s all for the better. After all, this is not a romantic relationship. Of course they do care about each other, a lot. They trust each other and enjoy spending time together, they have fun like two close friends. But what they’ve added to this mix, is just sex. Nothing more.

Isak is glad of the way they’re handling this, and these rules, they make things simpler, less messy. They’re a good thing. Although… there is one rule Even has added to their contract that sort of annoys him even if he hates to admit it to himself.

No hooking-up on Fridays.

Why? Because Even and Sonja have made Friday night their official weekly video date night. Of course, they text and talk on the phone most days but Friday nights are supposed to be their special moment when they dress up a little bit, have a drink in front of their computer together and talk for a few hours or sometime watch a movie at the same time, as if they were on a real date.

So Fridays are their exclusive day and Even doesn’t want it to get muddled up with what him and Isak are doing. Which is fine, Isak understands that. Besides, it’s not like he can’t spend one day a week not touching Even, right? They do hook-up almost every day but that’s just because right now it’s all new and exciting. Also, they had weeks of frustration behind them that they needed to let go of. That's all.

Of course he can go one day a week knowing Even is not his to have, to touch.

And what if on other days he sometimes gets slightly annoyed if Sonja bursts their little bubble in one way or another? He’s not jealous, of course not, that would be absurd.

Maybe he gets a bit grumpier on Friday nights when he’s alone in his bedroom and hears their muffled conversations coming from the other side of the wall, the deep rumble of Even’s voice followed by the echo of her high-pitched laughter. Maybe it makes him feel a little bit lonely but he rapidly shakes these sentiments out of his head, because after all, right now he’s the one who gets to share Even’s bed six days a week if he wants to. She can very well have this night, before she gets all the others back too.

Sometimes, Isak wonders if Even will think of him when this is all over and he finally gets to have Sonja in his bed again. He wonders if Even will ever think about the touch of his skin when he caresses hers, if he’ll remember how Isak smelled after sex when he buries his face in the crook of her neck or compare the ways they both moan his name when they’re close.

But these are just silly thoughts that Isak mutes, along with the couple’s voices, by blasting some hip-hop in his headphones for the rest of the night.

*******

On Saturday night, Isak is playing FIFA online with Jonas, Magnus and Mahdi. He’s sitting on the edge of the couch, a couple of beer bottles and a half-empty bag of chips on the coffee table. His eyes are fixed on the screen, his entire body tensed, pushing the buttons of the controller frantically until he scores.

“Yesss!” he exclaims, pumping his fist in the air as he hears Mahdi and Magnus groan in his headphones.

“Nice one, Issy!” Jonas laughs. “We’re gonna crush them.”

“Of course we are, as always.” Isak shrugs cockily even if no one is there to see him, but they can probably hear it in his voice.

Isak tears his gaze off the screen as he takes a sip of his beer and almost chokes on his drink when he sees Even, leaning on the doorframe between the living room and the corridor, watching him with a mischievous smile on his lips.

Even obviously got out of the shower, he’s naked except for a towel wrapped around his waist, which is probably the smallest one they own and leaves almost nothing to Isak’s imagination. His long legs are casually crossed at the ankles, his wet hair curling at the end and Isak can see goosebumps covering his damp skin, his nipples poking round and hard on the pale, smooth skin of his chest. 

“Having fun?” Even smirks, cocking his eyebrows at Isak.

“What the fuck?!” he blurts out. “Huh? No not you man, I’m just talking to Even.” Isak stammers when Jonas asks him what is wrong.

“Hi guys!” Even calls loud enough so they can hear them, Isak flipping him off when he snorts out a laugh at his slightly nervous state.

“They say hi back…” Isak responds, throwing Even a glance dark with irritation but maybe even more with lust as he feels his focus shift from the game to Even’s body and what he would want to do to him.

“Since you seem to be busy, I’ll just…” Even says lower, for Isak only, pointing at his bedroom with a playful grin. “Join me later?”

Isak nods, trying not to look too eager when in reality, he contemplates giving the boys any bullshit excuse he can think of to bail on them, throwing the controller away and jumping on Even right there in the living room. But then Even adds, “Only if you win the game of course.”

“You fucker…” Isak mutters as Even gives him a teasing wink before walking away. “No, not you Magnus... although that was fucking anti-game, come on, man! But you know I get it, you wouldn’t be able to win against me and Jonas without cheating.”

Isak gets back to the game, determined not to let Even get to him or the raging boner between his legs ruin his winning streak.

.

When Isak joins him later in his bedroom, Even is lying lazily on his bed, his head resting on a folded arm, the other holding a paperback he’s reading by the soft light of his bedside lamp.

Even looks up from his book when he hears Isak step inside his bedroom and raises his eyebrows at him. “So? Did you win?” he asks teasingly.

“Of course I fucking won,” Isak huffs. He reaches Even’s bed in a few long strides, straddles him and snatches his book out of his hands. “I’m the master at FIFA.”

“Oh the master, eh?” Even chuckles.

Isak throws the book over his shoulder, a soft thud resounding as it hits the floor, before diving for Even’s neck, changing his laugh into a whimper when Isak’s tongue brushes the long line of his throat.

“Yes, the master.” Isak breathes out against his skin, his lips beginning to make their way lower on Even’s body, trailing kisses and licks of his tongues on his collarbone, his chest, along his stomach until he reaches his navel where he is stopped by the knot of the towel.

Isak looks up at Even, pupils blown dark under his long lashes, while he unties the knot and unwraps the towel around Even’s waist. He uncovers Even’s erection and Isak feels himself flush with a sort of pride when he thinks of Even waiting for him in his bed, rock hard just at the thought of Isak joining him later. “And now I’m gonna show you what else I’m the master at.” he says, his voice low and already hoarse.

“Wow,” Even chuckles. “Aren’t you a little bit confident?” he teases but the quavering in his voice betrays how affected he already is.

“Oh, so you don't think-” Isak runs his tongue from the base of his shaft, all the way up to the head, sucking on it and moaning when his tongue catches a bead of salty precum, before popping off. “...that I’m the best at this?”

Even’s lips are parted open, panting, but he doesn’t speak, as if he couldn’t bring himself to say the words that are just there on the tip of his tongue. He looks at Isak, his eyes dark and pleading, he swallows hard and then, with a weak, almost defeated sigh, he nods.

_ Yes _ .

“Thought so.” Isak smirks before taking him in his mouth, determined to prove Even right.

He begins to bob his head up and down, taking Even a little deeper every time, and making him whine and gasp a little louder, when Isak hears the buzzing sound of Even’s phone on the bedside table.

“Don’t stop, please don’t stop, I don’t care…” Even begs when Isak stills, annoyed by whoever is disturbing them at the worst possible fucking time. Even doesn’t even try to know who’s calling, his head is thrown back on his pillow, his eyes closed as if nothing else could possibly matter at that moment but the sensation of Isak’s lips wrapped around his cock. But Isak instinctively casts a glance at the lit up screen to see Sonja’s name appearing above a picture of her, a beaming, loving smile on her lips, probably meant for Even who must have been the one taking the picture.

Isak can’t help feeling irritated, and maybe slightly petty, because he then returns to his task with redoubled effort, making it his mission to give Even the best fucking blowjob he’s ever had. He swirls his tongue around the tip of his cock and hollows his cheeks as he takes him deeper, he moans around his cocks and follows the shivering trail it sends on the inside of Even’s thighs with his fingertips. He uses every trick, everything that he knows to make Even go wild, he sucks and strokes just the way he knows will have him squirming and begging for the sweet bliss of mercy. He wants Even to remember this for the rest of his life and to never be able to get another blowjob without comparing it to this one.

Petty? Yes, probably. 

But Isak doesn't care. Right now, Even is his to have, and he doesn’t intend to share. 

Isak relaxes his jaw, letting Even in deeper until he hits the back of his throat and revels in the deafening moans that are escaping Even’s red and puffy lips. But as loud as Even is being, the sound of a new incoming call still reaches Isak’s ears. Even doesn’t seem to notice, too lost to this overwhelming pleasure he’s experiencing, but Isak can’t shut it off, the buzzing noise nagging him until he can’t take it anymore.

He lets Even’s cock slide out of his mouth and grabs it at the base, squeezing to halt his impending orgasm. 

“Wha… no, no, no, what the fuck?!” Even gasps, his eyes suddenly wide open again as he looks at Isak with an incredulous, almost pained look on his face. “Isak what are you doing? I was so close please don't stop… oh God it was so good, please don't stop, please…” he whines.

Isak releases him and gets up from the bed, Even’s disbelieving look following his movements. He grabs Even’s now-silent phone on the bedside table and huffs out a small dry laugh when  _ –  _ as if right on cue  _ –  _ it starts buzzing again, Sonja’s smile reappearing inside the palm of his hand. 

“Isak, what the hell?!”

“Your girlfriend is trying to reach you.” he says, his voice flat as he throws the phone at Even who looks as if the air has been knocked out of his lungs when it lands on his heaving chest. “It looks important, you shouldn’t leave her hanging.”

“For fuck’s sake…" Even sighs, answering the call before it goes to voicemail again.

“Hei, Son.” he greets her as Isak turns around and walks out of the bedroom. “I um... I just got up the stairs and then I ran to answer so… yeah, I’m a bit… out of breath. Anyway, what’s up?”

Isak heads to the bathroom, takes off his clothes and steps under the warm stream of the shower. He closes his eyes and tries to let the hot water relax him and wash away his frustration. 

After only a few minutes, he hears the bathroom door open, and soon, he feels Even’s body pressed against his back.

“What did we say about showering together, Even?” he asks teasingly over his shoulder. 

“I’ve already taken my shower earlier,” Even answers, his voice low and dark, Isak smiling to himself when he realizes just how affected Even sounds, how unfulfilled and hungry for him he’d left him “...and if you think I’m here to rub your back you’re clearly mistaken.”

He bucks his hips forward, pressing his cock, still hard and throbbing, against Isak’s ass, its tip poking the small of his back. Isak bites back a content moan, too pleased by the thought that Even just had a phone conversation with  _ her _ , distracted by the sensation of his painfully hard cock, dying to join Isak and resume what they were doing before she interrupted them.

Petty? Okay, Isak is most definitely petty. He’s competitive, even slightly possessive.

"What did she want anyway?" he tries to sound as casually as possible, as if he was merely enquiring about any of their common friends.

"Let's not talk about my girlfriend while I have you naked against me, okay?"

"New rule?" Isak asks, almost innocently.

"Yeah, new rule."

"Deal."

Even presses his lips on the side of Isak’s neck, his tongue sliding on the water running down his body. Isak turns his head over his shoulder to meet him in a wet, open-mouthed kiss, spit blending with hot water droplets, not nearly enough to quench their thirst.

Even enfolds him in his arms, let his hands roam his stomach, his chest and swallows Isak’s moans when he rubs his thumb on the small buds of nis nipples.

Even rolls his hips slowly, almost tentatively, rubbing his erection on Isak’s ass who arches his back to press back against him. He wonders if Even is going to cum like that, grinding his dick against his skin until he shoots all over his back and his ass. Or maybe he’ll turn Isak around and make him fall down to his knees so he can take his cock between his lips? The mere thought of it makes Isak’s mouth water, dying to feel Even’s dick down his throat and to taste his cum on his tongue.

Even grabs his cock and Isak quivers when he feels him sliding it along his crack. When the head brushes his rim for a second, Isak freezes, his breath suddenly caught in his throat. Even’s dick is right there, at his entrance and Even would only have to push, it would only take a strong thrust of his hips and he would breach Isak’s body. Without meaning to, Isak pushes his ass back again ever so slightly and at that moment, he realises that he would let him. If Even decided to pin him against the glass wall of their shower and to sink inside him, if he decided to take him right there, raw and bare, to fuck him without preparation and leave him full of his cum without speaking another word, Isak would let him.

The thought is both terrifying and exhilarating, making his cock twitch and his knees almost give out.

But of course Even doesn’t, Even would never.

Not now, not like that.

“Close your legs.” he instructs instead, the firm and commanding tone of his voice making Isak tremble.

Isak does as he’s told, he squeezes his legs together and sucks in a sharp breath when he feels Even’s cock slide inside the tight channel between his thighs. It brushes against his hole, his perineum and sends a wave of electricity throughout his entire body when it slides right underneath his balls, already tight and almost ready for release.

They both moan, Even probably ecstatic to finally get some friction back on his cock, and Isak so incredibly turned on by the prospect of letting him use his body as he wants for his own pleasure.

Even begins to rock his body slowly, gets used to these new sensations they never experienced together before. His motions are made so fluid and soft by the water running down their bodies, their skin wet and slippery. There is something so gentle and yet so dirty in the way Even’s is getting off between his legs, that makes Isak’s heart hammer in his chest.

Isak reaches down between his legs, lets his fingers linger there and brush against the tip of Even’s cock when it pokes out. The sensation makes Even whimper and suddenly, the pace and the force of his thrusts increase. He grabs Isak’s hips to keep him still and begins to pound his hips against Isak’s ass fast and hard, the squelching sound of their drenched skin slapping against each other making Isak’s head spin.

This position, these motions, these noises, drive Isak completely mad. It all looks, sounds and almost feels like Even is fucking him and it makes him absolutely delirious with want.

Of course Isak wants it, he has fantasized about it for longer than he’d care to admit. He has wanted it, hoped for it since the first night they hooked-up and it hasn’t left his mind since then. But he hasn’t dared to bring it up with Even yet, doesn’t know how to ask for it, thinking that what they’ve been doing until then was enough. And it has been until now, everything has been so fun, so hot, and so good, so fucking good. But now, as they’re having what feels like a grand (un)dress rehearsal to really, properly fucking, Isak realises how much he wants it, how desperately he craves it.

He needs Even inside him. He needs to feel him sink his cock inside this hollow space in his body, he needs Even to stretch him, fill him up and claim him.

“Please Even, please…” Isak begs, reaching back for Even’s neck and pulling him impossibly closer. Even doesn’t know what he’s asking for, Isak is in no state to find the words and ask for what he wants right now.

Right now, he will let Even take what he wants, he will let him have his way with his body as he pleases, he can’t do anything else but to surrender to Even’s desire.

Even leans in and captures Isak’s pleading lips with his own, swallows his whimpers as he pushes his tongue inside Isak’s mouth. This small part of Even inside his body is not enough, not nearly enough, but Isak knows he will have to content himself with it for now. So he accepts it, welcomes it, shows Even how grateful he is by sucking on it and making their lips vibrate with an appreciative moan.

One of Even’s hands releases Isak’s hip and slides to the front of his body until it rests on his cock. Isak whimpers, breaking their kiss, and lets his head fall back on Even’s shoulder, droplets of warm water falling between his parted lips.

“Fuck… yes, Even… oh God, yes!” he blurts out in a guttural cry when Even starts to stroke him, his grip strong, but his hand still sliding with ease on the length of Isak’s hard dick.

He doesn’t try to tease him, doesn’t make Isak have to beg him to bring him to his orgasm. Even goes fast and rough from the start and Isak senses that Even is already close, the movement of his hips slamming his ass getting more frantic and uncoordinated.

Isak tightens his legs a little bit more, as much as he can without losing his balance and falling on the slippery floor. The added pressure on his cock makes Even groan and bury his face in the crook of Isak’s neck, panting against his skin.

“Isak, fuck! I’m gonna…” Even whimpers before closing his mouth on Isak’s shoulder, his teeth sinking into his skin as he gives a few final jerky thrust between the flesh of his thighs. Isak feels him shoot all over his balls, Even’s cock throbbing against his perineum. He looks down at the ropes of cum being instantly washed away by the running water and when Even finally loosen his grip on his hips, Isak lets them jerk forward, fucking into Even’s hand still stroking his cock. He doesn’t need a lot more time before he feels a burning wave of pleasure crash inside of him and spills all over Even’s hand with a loud, raspy moan.

When he’s done cumming, Even continuing to stroke Isak’s dick gently until it gets so sensitive that his entire body trembles, Isak turns around and lets his body lean heavily against Even’s. He rests his head against his chest and wraps his arms around Even’s waist, needing something to hold onto because he can’t trust his legs to be able to support him much longer. Even chuckles and envelops him in his arms, one hand running through his soaked curls while the other slowly roams his back.

“So, is that what you had in mind when you mentioned ‘stuff in the shower’?” Even asks playfully.

“No, that was... surprising.” Isak huffs against his skin.

“Good.” Even’s hand slides under his chin and tilts Isak’s head up until he can reach his lips, kissing him slowly, his tongue brushing the curve of his cupid’s bow. “Because I wouldn’t want you to get bored of me just yet.”

Isak rolls his eyes, but he can’t help his heart fluttering when Even smiles so wide that his eyes disappear or his skin shivering everywhere it is in contact with Even’s.

_ Fuck… how could I ever get bored of this? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed this!  
> please tell me what this made you feel in the comments, or come say hello on [twitter](https://twitter.com/naughtyevak) if you want xx


	5. Chapter 5

Isak is lying on his bed, leaning back against his blue pillow and before him is a sight he knows he could definitely never get bored of.

Even is naked on his stomach at the end of the bed, his head nestled between Isak’s bent legs. Isak feels mesmerized and out of breath, as he looks at Even’s mouth traveling on the inside of his trembling thighs. He watches as Even presses his soft, plump lips from Isak’s knees to his groin. How he sometimes lets his pointy canines bite into Isak’s flesh before running his tongue on the now-bruised skin.

Even has been taking his time, exploring every inch of Isak's right thigh almost reverently, before moving to the left one, at the exact moment his mouth finally reached the place Isak most wants it.

“Oh God, Even!” Isak whines when Even’s mouth leaves his hip to start over its delicious torture on his second thigh.

“Patience.” Even chuckles, amused by the state Isak’s in, panting and writhing on the bed, the vibration of his laugh rippling on Isak’s skin.

Isak gasps when Even’s laugh turns into a kiss and his head starts spinning with how good it feels, how agonizingly good. He wants Even to move his mouth to his cock now but he also wants this to go on forever. He whimpers and he begs for more but he doesn’t even know what he’s asking for.

“Now I’m gonna take care of you.” Even murmurs when his lips reach Isak’s groin again, his warm breath brushing Isak’s cock like a taste of what’s to come.

“Please, yes… _aaah_!” Even is obviously done teasing because suddenly, Isak’s cock is engulfed in his mouth, Even’s full lips stretched around him. “This feels so good, God, Even it’s so good.” Isak whimpers as Even bobs his head up and down his length.

Even’s hand grabs the part of Isak’s cock that his lips can’t reach, and after a few strokes, he moves it lower, rubbing Isak’s balls in the palm of his hand while his thumb rubs over his perineum.

The slow massage of Even’s thumb sends shivers all along Isak’s spine – this sensation paired with the absolute wonder of what Even’s mouth is doing to his cock is already driving him wild. But then Even’s thumb slides lower suddenly, grazing his rim and Isak sucks in a sharp breath.

He tilts his head up and looks at Even who has stopped moving. He looks at Isak, eyes wide with seeming surprise of having touched Isak where he’s never ventured to before. Or is it surprise at having aroused such a strong reaction from Isak? Even lets Isak’s dick slide out of his mouth, his puffy lips are slightly parted, but still connected to Isak's body by a trickle of pre-cum, or spit, probably even both and it is the dirtiest, most beautiful sight Isak has ever seen in his life.

Isak sees the hesitation in Even’s eyes, his need to know if what he did was okay, that he didn’t cross a line. So Isak nods eagerly, silently telling him that it was okay, more than okay and that he can do it again. That Isak wants him to do it again.

Even looks down at where his finger is still touching Isak, immobile. There is a timidity but also a curiosity and a sort of wonder in his eyes. Isak has never felt so bare, so exposed, than he is right now under Even’s gaze.

Even brushes his thumb against Isak’s hole. It’s soft, slow, tentative, but it’s already enough for Isak to be out of breath, his cheeks flushed with the pleasure Even is giving him. The thrill of finally being touched where Isak most desperately wants to be touched by him.

“Oh fuck…” Isak whimpers when Even starts to circle his rim with his thumb. His touch gets more firm, and his face, his mouth are so close to his ass now that Isak can feel Even’s hot, heavy breath against his hole.

“Even,” Isak rocks his hips slightly to encourage him. Even responds by pressing the pad of his thumb against Isak’s hole. “Oh God… please, Even please…”

When Even looks back up at him, there is nothing timid anymore in his eyes, nothing hesitant. There’s only pure lust, his pupils blown dark, so intense that Isak feels that he could burn under this gaze.

“Do you want-” Even asks, his voice already ragged, fighting for breath.

“Yes.” Isak breathes out. “I want your fingers inside me, please.”

Even blushes at his words and Isak can’t believe that this man, looking so hot, so completely wrecked between his thighs can also still be this fucking cute and adorably shy.

“Okay.” Even nods. “Just, gimme-”

“Yeah.” Isak grabs the lube on his bedside table and hands it to Even who pours some on his fingers before rubbing them together. The gesture alone is making Isak quiver with want, he doesn’t think he’s ever been this turned on in his entire life, only watching Even applying lube on his long, slender fingers. His fingers that will soon be inside of Isak. Fucking finally.

“You ready?” Even asks, pressing a finger on Isak’s rim, the touch of his wet skin making Isak draw in a shuddering breath.

“Yes.” he sighs. “I’m ready, please touch me.”

Even pushes in, he breaches Isak’s body slowly, attentive to Isak’s every move, every sound. He slides his finger centimeter by centimeter, brushing Isak’s tight wall, sending waves of pleasure to his entire body. 

“Move, you can move.” Isak pants when Even’s finger is inside him completely. “Yes! Oh God, yes, that feels so good…” he whimpers as Even pulls his finger out and pushes back in tentatively. 

Even begins to thrust his finger faster, deeper, Isak’s muscles relaxing around him and letting him in without any restraint. “More, please I need more…” Isak begs, his chest heaving, and flushed, his entire body coated with sweat.

Even satisfies his wish and adds another finger on his next push. Isak can’t even find the words to tell Even how what he’s doing to him feels. His mind is blurry, his mouth doesn’t know how to form sentences anymore, his lips can only fall open to let his raspy cries escape.

It already feels so good, Isak already feels so full and yet, Even has only two fingers inside of him. Behind his closed eyelids, Isak pictures Even’s beautiful cock, he thinks about how big it feels in his hand, in his mouth and _fuck_ , he’s not even sure he would be able to handle having it inside his ass, that he could recover from Even pounding inside him.

But he desperately needs to find out and sooner rather than later.

Isak’s thoughts and fantasies are interrupted when, on a long stroke, the pads of Even’s fingers brush against Isak’s prostate, pulling a loud, almost surprised whimper out of his mouth.

“Oh my God, yes! Right there, right there! Yes!”

Even answers his plea, brushing Isak’s sweet spot on every stroke, sometimes just lightly, almost to tease him, sometimes with more intent, keeping his fingers deep inside Isak and massaging him there, making his skin quiver and little white stars explode behind his eyelids.

He’s so close already, so close only with Even’s fingers sliding inside of him, only with the sight of him between his legs, brows furrowed in concentration, biting his lips as if carrying out the most delicate and precise task, his eyes dark and fixed where his fingers disappear inside Isak’s body. 

Even must sense it, must feel Isak’s body trembling around his fingers. He dives in, takes Isak in his mouth again, adding the caress of his lips on Isak’s cock to the strokes of his fingers in his ass, and Isak feels like he’s spiralling. He reaches down for Even, needing to hold onto him, to feel grounded somehow and grabs fistfuls of his soft hair, feeling how damp with sweat it has become against his neck. When Isak tugs on his hair slightly, he feels Even moan around his cock and this vibration, added to the soft pressure of Even’s fingers on his spot, creates a shockwave through his entire body. Isak starts cumming in Even’s mouth, shooting ropes after ropes, feeling like it's never going to stop, remnants of his orgasm coming back like an echo until there is nothing left in him.

Even takes it all, swallows it all and keeps pumping his fingers in and out until Isak becomes a trembling mess, writhing on the rumpled sheets.

“Sorry.” Even murmurs when Isak whines as he slowly pulls his fingers out.

“S’fine-” Isak mumbles, unable to calm his erratic breathing. “C’mere…”

With a low chuckle, Even crawls to the top of the bed to meet Isak. He hovers over his body, clears his forehead from the curls sticking to beads of sweat, and looks at him for a moment, his eyes roaming all over Isak’s face, the softest smile on the corner of his lips.

Even’s touch is so soft, his gaze so tender… Isak feels his heart swell with a pure, overwhelming affection that almost scares him. 

So he grabs Even by the back of his neck and pulls him down for a kiss. He parts his lips and kisses him hot and messy, pushes inside Even’s mouth, bites his plump lip and moans when he tastes his own cum on Even’s tongue. Isak makes this kiss as filthy as he can, until lust replaces the terrifying tenderness blooming in his chest.

*******

A couple of days later, Isak finds himself leaving the safety, comfort and intimacy of their apartment to go out into the deserted city. It feels so good to walk outside, to breathe some fresh air and feel the sun on his skin but at the same time, Isak can also sense a kind of dread, a reluctance at being away from home, and from Even.

They have decided to take turns going grocery shopping and this time, Isak is the one who has to go while Even stays in to do some cleaning in the apartment.

Isak strolls the quiet supermarket, spending way too much time finding all the right vegetables written down on the shopping list that Even prepared for him. After he’s sure they have enough food to last a good while before having to leave their flat again, he moves to the hygiene aisle.

 _Toothpaste, check… Even’s shampoo, check… shaving cream, check…_

Isak spots the bottles of lube and remembers he meant to buy some. There’s definitely not much left at home anymore so he grabs a bottle and after a second of hesitation, adds a second one in his cart.

Isak’s eyes then lands on the packs of condoms in the shelf right below and his entire body freezes for a second. His breath hitches and his skin is suddenly buzzing everywhere―cheeks flushed and heart hammering in his chest.

Isak remembers the night before, he remembers the sensation of Even’s fingers pushing inside his body, stroking, pressing his spot. He remembers how incredibly good it felt and how it made him want even more badly to finally feel Even’s cock inside him, how badly he wants Even to fuck him. All of a sudden, Isak feels like he can’t breathe, he’s almost suffocating behind his face mask, gasping for just enough oxygen to keep him standing. 

They still haven’t talked about it. Isak doesn’t know if Even means to go further, if fingering Isak was just a first step toward finally fucking like Isak so desperately craves, or if it is as far as Even is ready to go.

Isak knows he will have to ask eventually, they will have to talk about it because it’s driving him completely crazy. Besides, when they decided to hook-up, one of the first rules they set was that they had to talk about things so… that’s what he’ll do.

But right now, Isak needs to push these thoughts away and focus on wrapping up his damn shopping duty because he’s starting to get a hard-on in the middle of the freaking supermarket and he really doesn’t need this kind of humiliation.

So he quickly grabs a couple of boxes of condoms – _fuck it_ – if he doesn’t use them with Even at least he’ll have some for later when this is all over and he can hook-up with other guys again.

Other guys… 

The thought somehow leaves him with a bitter taste in his mouth so Isak shakes it off and heads to the checkout.

*******

Isak goes home to a clean and tidy apartment, he puts the grocery bags on the kitchen table but just as he begins to put the food away in the cupboards, his phone starts to ring from his pocket. He pulls it out and sees Jonas’ name appear on the screen.

“It’s alright, you can answer. I’ll take care of that.” Even offers, stepping inside the kitchen.

“Cool, thanks.” Isak smiles, before walking away as he answers the call. “Hei man, what’s up?”

A few minutes later, Isak comes back from his bedroom where he took Jonas' call. “Jonas says hi.” He chirps. “Also, he told me the funniest thing, did you know that-”

Isak freezes when he finds Even standing by the kitchen table, the bags still full of groceries. His brows are furrowed and Isak slaps himself mentally when he realises what Even is holding in his hand.

“Did you buy condoms?” Even asks flatly, making Isak unable to know how he feels about it.

“Yes.” he answers, leaning against the doorframe to give himself some composure.

“Did you buy them… for us?”

“Um, yeah… yeah I did.” Isak takes a couple of steps towards Even, needing to be closer to him to have this conversation.

“Right…” Even says pensively. Isak is still trying to find any sign of what he’s thinking about all this but Even doesn’t let anything show.

“Or, not necessarily.” Isak shrugs. “I mean, it doesn’t have to be for us. I didn’t have any left so, you know, in any case I’ll just have some for later. I’m just... “ He clears his throat awkwardly. “...thinking ahead.”

“So you’d want to… you would want us to have um…” Even trails off.

“Anal sex, yes.” Isak says, wincing slightly at his own bluntness but he feels like they need a bit of a push if they’re going to talk about this. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while, and yeah, I’d really like that.”

“Oh.” Even simply says.

“What, um… how do you feel about that?” Isak asks, trying to catch Even’s gaze who avoids looking at him directly.

“I don’t know…” Even shakes his head slowly. “It’s not that I wouldn’t want to do it but it feels… it feels wrong.”

“What?!” Isak exclaims incredulously, not expecting the conversation to go this way.

“Yeah, I’m sorry but I kinda feel like this is a step too far you know?” When Isak shrugs irritably, Even continues. “I feel like this would really be…”

“Cheating?” Isak asks when Even doesn’t finish his sentence.

“Yeah.” Even sighs. “Like, this is… serious. You know what I mean?”

“No, Even.” Isak huffs. “I really don’t. What are you saying here? Do you think that because we didn’t properly fucked what we did until now was nothing? That it didn’t count?”

“No that’s not-”

“Do you think that because you didn’t stick your dick up my butt somehow we weren’t having _‘real’_ sex until now? How backward and fucked up is that?!”

“Isak…” Even takes a tentative step towards him but Isak walks to the other side of the kitchen, putting the table between them. 

“Newsflash! We’re fucking, Even.” Isak says with the slightest hint of a bitter laugh. “Only two days ago you took me in you mouth while you were fucking me with you fingers. So yeah, I’m sorry to break it to you, but you _are_ cheating on you girlfriend. And I know that we said we would never push the other to do something he’s not comfortable with, that’s not what I’m trying to do here, at all. If you don’t want to do that, it's fine. But don’t tell me that’s suddenly too much of a betrayal as if everything we did until now didn’t matter.”

“Isak no, that’s not-”

“Save it,” Isak cuts him off. “I really don’t want to hear this right now. Just… figure your shit out, Even.” Isak storms out of the kitchen before Even can try to explain himself again and heads to his bedroom, slamming the door behind him. 

Angrily, he paces in his bedroom, trying to ease the tension creeping up on him, but instead, it’s like he’s building it up with every step he takes. So he lets himself fall on the bed, crashing his head against his pillow where he buries a muffled groan of frustration.

*******

Since their confrontation, the apartment is filled with an uncomfortable silence.

They avoid each other, or Isak avoids Even as much as he can. He stays in his bedroom most of the time, listens to his coming and going in the apartment before sneaking out and going to the bathroom to take a shower or grab something to eat in the kitchen. Sometimes, Isak hears the sound of a film playing on the TV in their living room and he wonders if this is Even’s way of offering him an olive branch and trying to lure him out of his lair. But he doesn’t join him, he stays alone in his bedroom sprawled on the bed that still smells like Even.

It feels like they are back to the first days of their cohabitation, when Isak was a shy 18 year old, intimidated by his new cool, older roommate. He never spoke first, only mumbled short answers to Even’s questions, feeling himself blush every time Even smiled kindly at him. But of course, Even had managed to tame the rough, uneasy teenager Isak was back then, and they quickly opened up to each other with the help of some 90’s hip-hop and of a blunt or two.

To this day, Isak still wonders why Even had chosen him to be his new roommate. Surely he must have met plenty of other people cooler and more fun than Isak back then.

When they inevitably run into each other or cross paths in the common areas of the apartment, they exchange neutral politeness and engage in this strange, awkward dance around each other to make sure they stay at a safe distance.

Isak avoids meeting Even’s eyes, he can’t stand the guilt and sadness there. As fragile as it looks, he knows Even’s gaze would make him yield. Isak knows that if he holds that gaze for too long, he will throw himself at Even and beg him to forget everything.

Maybe Even senses that. Maybe he understands that for some reason, Isak is not ready to look him in the eyes just yet, so when Even finally comes up to him one night to talk, he chooses the moment when Isak is washing the dishes of the dinner he just had on his own in the kitchen. Leaning over the sink where he’s rinsing his plate, Isak hears Even step into the small kitchen and stand behind him in silence. Isak pauses for a second, mostly to show Even that he noticed his presence, but doesn’t turn around and resumes his task.

“I’m sorry, Isak,” Even says after drawing in a shaky breath. “I’m so sorry for treating you like that, for making it sound like _this_ is nothing more than a vulgar way to get off… I know I made you feel like shit and I fucking hate myself for it.”

Even’s voice is so small and yet, Isak can feel it break down the defenses he had built around himself these last few days.

“It’s okay,” he murmurs, turning his head slightly as he places his plate on the drying rack, but still not enough to look at Even. “I shouldn’t have pressured you like that.” Isak then continues to busy himself with the cutlery left in the sink. “We said we wouldn’t do anything we’re not comfortable with and I-”

“You didn’t,” Even cuts him off. “I’m the one who acted like a dick. You were right, I’m a fucking hypocrite and I lied to myself, thinking that somehow, if we didn’t go all the way, it would magically absolve me of my betrayal, that I wouldn’t _really_ be cheating on Sonja. But it was so fucking stupid and I hurt you, I know I did. I’m so sorry…”

“Okay.” Isak simply breathes out, letting the warm water run down over his hands when he’s finished, still not feeling quite ready enough to turn around when he doesn’t know what he will see in Even’s eyes.

He hears Even take a few steps and soon, he feels his body right behind him, its warmth so close to Isak’s back that he suddenly feels his knees get weak. Even leans in and rests his forehead on Isak’s shoulder. Isak turns the faucet off, and stays still, taking in the sensation of this first contact with Even in excruciating long days. He closes his eyes and waits for Even’s next words.

“I miss you…” Even murmurs to Isak’s back, his words pushing through the worn fabric of Isak’s tee-shirt to vibrate against his skin. “We’ve never fought before, not like this. I just…” Even sighs painfully. “I miss my friend.”

“Me too... I miss you too.” Isak finally concedes, not able to resist any longer when Even stands so frail and bare against him, asking Isak for his forgiveness.

Even straighten himself when Isak turns his head to the side, turning his body slightly to be able to look at Even over his shoulder.

Isak lets his eyes roam Even’s face until they land on his lips. They are curled up in a soft smile that makes Isak blush, just like when he was a shy, awkward teenager.

“I like seeing you smile.” Isak whispers before he can stop himself.

Even parts his lips, drawing in a small, surprised gasp, before bringing his hand to Isak’s cheek, cupping his jaw and brushing his cheekbone with his thumb. Even’s caress is so soft, so light, but Isak has missed his touch so painfully these last few days that it is enough to make his entire body tremble. He closes his eyes again, overwhelmed by the sensation of Even’s skin against his own, and afraid that Even will see the intensity of Isak’s sentiments and maybe not be able to handle it.

“Isak…” Even says in a whisper.

He flutters his eyes open, only to see Even lean in and – at last – connect their lips. Isak has to crane his neck to be able to meet Even’s kiss but any discomfort is washed away by the softness of Even’s lips, by the gentleness of his embrace.

Isak turns around until he’s facing Even, throwing his arms around his neck to deepen their kiss.

“Sorry.” He chuckles when Even jumps a little at the contact of his hands on his skin. “My hands are all wet.”

“I don’t care.” Even mumbles, pulling Isak closer until their chests are pressed together and he’s pushing his tongue inside Isak’s mouth. Isak moans and fists the back of Even’s tee-shirt, feeling the fabric dampen with the water dripping from his fingers.

Even wraps his arms around him, his hands roam Isak’s back, hold his waist and cup his ass. Then, Even lifts Isak by the back of his thighs, making him squeak in surprise.

“Oh my God, that was so cute!” Even laughs at the small high pitched cry that has left Isak’s mouth.

“Shut up.” Isak rolls his eyes, wrapping one leg around Even’s waist to pull him close when Even puts him up on the counter next to the sink.

Even’s amused chuckles quickly die down when his lips crash against Isak’s again, before running down his neck, licking and sucking until Isak feels his head spin. Isak quickly works to rid them both of their tee-shirts, needing to see more of Even, to feel more of him. He lets his hand run all the way down Even’s back and pulls him closer by the waist, pressing their crotches together to let Even feel how turned on he is, how hard he’s made him. Even moans against the side of Isak’s neck, replacing the bite of his teeth on the soft skin by the vibration of his lips. Isak’s breath hitches when he feels that Even is in the exact same state he is, their erections brushing against each other through the multiple layers of fabric of their pants and underwear.

“Even,” he pants. “Even…”

Even doesn’t answer, instead he lifts him in his arms again, Isak holding onto his shoulders and wrapping his second leg around his waist as Even carries him across the kitchen and to the corridor, leaving their shirts behind, discarded on the kitchen floor.

He pins Isak against the corridor wall, grinding their hips together as he continues to leave wet, open-mouthed kisses on his neck and his collarbones.

“Fuck…” Isak whimpers, squeezing Even as strong as he can in his arms and between his thighs.

“Where do you keep them?” Even suddenly asks, his breath hot against Isak’s ear.

“Wha… where do I keep what?” Isak stutters, trying to collect his whirling thoughts to understand what Even is asking him.

“The condoms you bought.” Even responds, his voice low and ragged, sending shivers on Isak’s skin and a sudden rush of blood to his groin.

“Are you sure?” Isak asks in a murmur, hesitant, careful not to push Even into doing something he’s not ready for or could later regret.

“I’m sure.” Even tilts his head up to look Isak in the eyes. There is no doubt, no hesitation or fear in his gaze, only unwavering desire. “I want to, if you still do too.” 

“Yeah…” Isak answers in a trembling breath. “God yes, of course!”

Isak leans in, moaning as he licks into Even’s mouth and tugs at his hair until they both left breathless.

“So?” Even lifts his eyebrows at him teasingly. “I’m beginning to struggle a bit here.” He chuckles, groping Isak’s ass.

“My bedroom.” Isak chuckles, nodding towards his door left ajar.

Even carries Isak the last steps toward his bedroom, kicks the door wide open and hurries to the bed where he lets Isak fall on the mattress before stumbling down on top of him. 

“Ouch!” Isak whines when their foreheads knock together.

“Fuck! Sorry, sorry…” Even laughs, pressing soft kisses where he hit Isak’s head until Isak is squirming and giggling under him.

“Stop it you dork, I’m fine.” He shoves Even’s chest playfully.

“I wouldn’t want to ruin your pretty face.” Even chuckles against his lips.

“Oh my God, will you just shut up and fuck me already!” Isak groans, pressing their lips together before Even can make another joke. But if the moan he breathes out inside Isak’s mouth is anything to go by, Even is most definitely done joking.

Even’s lips leave Isak’s, only trail kisses along his jaw and his neck, making his way down his chest where he pauses to lick and suck on each of Isak’s nipples until they’re hard and Isak is whining Even’s name again and again.

Keeping his lips on Isak’s skin, Even reaches down to unbutton his jeans and pull the zipper down, letting his hand slip into the opened waistband to feel Isak’s erection through his briefs.

“Fuck…” Isak whispers. “Even, please.”

Sitting back on his knees, Even grabs Isak’s pants and his underwear at the same time, pulling them down his legs until he’s lying completely naked on the bed, chest heaving in anticipation. “Come on, take these off too.” Isaks gestures towards Even’s pants.

Isak doesn’t have to beg for long, Even’s gets up from the bed, quickly getting rid of his own clothes before diving back on Isak, covering his body with his own, kissing him fiercely as his hands caresses Isak’s skin everywhere he can reach.

“Oh God, you have no idea how much I want you.” Even groans against Isak’s lips as he finds his place between Isak’s legs, grinding their cocks together with a roll of his hips.

“I want you too... so bad.” Isak pants when Even goes back to suck a mark on his neck. “Have you… have you ever-”

“Done it with a guy?” Even finishes his question when Isak trails off. “No, not this… never.”

“Okay…” Isak breathes out, trying to gather his senses. “You’re gonna need to prepare me first, finger me just like you did before. Only… don’t make me cum on your fingers this time.” Isak chuckles, feeling his heart beginning to hammer at the realisation that he’ll finally get to have Even inside him again. His fingers, his cock.

“I’ve never done it but I’m not completely clueless you know.” Even shakes his head, amused. “Or maybe you have a bit of a teacher/student kink?”

“Shut up…” Isak rolls his eyes.

“What I’m serious, didn’t you have a massive crush on one of your professors last year?”

“I did not!!” Isak protests. “I told you Mr. Nilsen was ‘ _kind of hot’_ , like once and I was high. I didn’t have a _crush_ on him!”

“Whatever you need to tell yourself.” Even kisses Isak again before he can come back at him, his grumble quickly turning into pleading whimpers when Even pushes his tongue past Isak’s lips. 

Even grabs the old bottle of lube on Isak’s bedside table, pouring what’s left on the liquid on his hand and spreading it on his fingers.

He reaches down and slides his fingers along Isak’s crack, soft and teasing until he reaches his rim and rubs it in small circles, covering it with lube. When Isak signals to him that he can continue, Even slowly pushes a first finger inside him, pumping gently until Isak begins to relax around it. 

“Another one, you can add another one.” Isak whimpers when he feels comfortable enough to take more of Even.

Even adds a second finger, stroking inside Isak like he had a few days before, only more focused on stretching him and loosening his hole than on making him cum, brushing on his prostate from time to time but not enough to bring him to the edge.

“More… please, give me more.” Isak begs.

Even has already been two fingers deep inside of him, it feels good, it feels fucking amazing, but Isak need to feel more, to experience more, to be full of him.

“You want a third one?”

“Yeah…” Isak nods. “Yeah… yeah!” he cries out when Even complies.

“Fuck, you take me so well…you look so fucking hot with my fingers inside you.” Even commends him, his voice hoarse, his eyes dark with lust. Isak can only squirm and purr at his praises, reveling in the look of pure awe in Even’s eyes as he watched his fingers slide in and out of his ass.

“Even…” Isak whimpers. “Even, I’m ready.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes, fuck me. Now.” Isak says, watching Evens’s pupils blowing even wider at his words.

Isak rolls them over on the bed until he’s straddling Even. “Let me?” he asks, grabbing a brand new box of condoms in the drawer of his bedside table.

“Okay.” Even nods, his eyes following Isak’s every movement as he opens the box, pulls out a condom and tears the wrapping open. He lets his head fall back on the pillow when Isak rolls the condom down on his cock and slick him up with lube from a new, full bottle. “Oh God!” Even breathes out.

Isak leans in and brushes his lips against the shell of Even’s ear, gives his lobe a playful bite just to feel goosebumps spread all over his skin and whispers. “I wanna ride you. Would you like that?”

Even’s body shivers at his words, his breath coming out shaky as he responds. “Yeah… fuck yes!”

Isak gives him another kiss, hot, wet and dirty before sitting back and placing himself above Even’s cock, pressing it head against his rim. This feeling alone is enough to knock all the air out of Isak’s lung and for a second, he wonders how he is going to be able to handle having Even inside of him fully, at last.

Isak stays still another moment, he looks at Even intently, giving him time to back out if he wants to. But Even doesn't show any sign that he wants to stop, he returns Isak’s gaze and nods, encouraging him to go on.

So Isak does, he pushes down and cries out when the tip of Even’s cock breaches inside him. “Oh God!”

He sinks down slowly, centimeter by centimeter, breathing deeply as his body accommodates to Even’s cock. Even looks up at him, cheeks flushed as he probably forces himself to stay still, letting Isak go at his own pace. He caresses his legs, soothes him as Isak continues to take his cock, both of them breathing out a low moan when Isak finally sits on Even’s hips.

Isak grinds tentatively against Even, gets his body used to the sensation of having Even’s hard cock inside of him. He feels so fucking full and these small movements are already enough to shoot waves of electricity in his entire body. 

“Fuck! Isak, you’re so tight. This… this feels so good.” Even presses his fingers deeper in the flesh of his thighs. He needs him to move, Isak can see it. Isak also had enough time to accomodate to the feeling of Even filling him up, he’s ready for more.

He slowly rises up until Even’s cock is almost completely out of his ass, before sinking down again, faster, both of them moaning in unison.

He does it again, and again, going faster each time until he’s bouncing up and down on Even’s cock. Even’s hands run up his thigh until he’s holding Isak’s waist, only to accompany his movements. He slides one of his hands around Isak’s hip, caresses his ass until his fingers can reach the place where their bodies connect, feeling himself getting in and out of Isak’s ass and rubbing his rim when he pushes down on his cock.

This feels so fucking good, dirty and almost intimate at the same time that Isak loses himself in the sensation of Even caressing him as he fucks himself on Even’s dick. He feels his motions getting sloppier, his breathing more erratic, and before he’s had time to come back to his senses, Even grabs him by the waist with both of his hands and pulls him down, slamming Isak on his cock.

“Fuck!! Yes, Even… yes!” Isak cries out, pressing his fists on Even’s chest as he lets him take the lead for a moment, gripping his hips as he trusts up inside Isak.

When he’s gained back control over himself, Isak grabs Even’s hands – sure that his fingers probably left lasting bruises on his hips – and pins them down on the bed over his head. He kisses Even and swallows his moans as he resumes rocking his hips while Even’s body quivers under his own. Isak lets go of Even’s hands and rises back up, angling his body to be able to take Even deeper until his cock is pressing on his spot.

Isak lets his head fall back, a loud, raspy cry escaping his mouth when he repeatedly slams his body down to let Even hit his prostate.

“Isak… Fuck you look so good fucking yourself on my cock! You feel so perfect, it’s like you were made to take my cock” Even groans.

“Yes! Yes!” Isak cries out in response. “You’re so fucking big… Oh God, Even! I’m close, I’m so close...”

Isak doesn’t even have to beg. Before he can ask, he feels the strong grip of Even’s hand on his cock. Even gives a few tugs that have Isak moaning his name coupled with a string of profanities that get all muddled up together. He gathers some precum dripping at the tip of Isak’s cock to ease the slide of his hand and begins to stroke him quick and hard. He’s not trying to tease Isak, he touches him with the intent of bringing him to orgasm fast and Isak is so fucking relieved he could cry.

Isak speeds up the pace of his movements, fucks himself on Even’s cock and thrusts inside his hand at the same time and it’s so excruciatingly good and overwhelming that he’s body begins to tremble.

“You’re gonna cum for me, uh?” Even pants.

“Yes… yes – _aaahhh_! – fuck, yes!” Isak cries out as he shoots all over Even’s hand and stomach.

Isak collapses on Even’s chest, kissing him and panting against his lips. He whines when Even moves his hips and rocks his still hard cock inside Isak’s ass that is getting sensitive after his orgasm.

“Want me to pull out?” Even asks, his voice a little strained, probably from the effort or remaining still when his dick must feel so achingly hard and him, desperate to cum too.

“No…” Isak shakes his head, cupping Even’s face to press a long, strong kiss on his lips. “I want you to cum inside me.”

Isak can feel Even’s breath hitch at his words. “Fuck, Isak…”

Even flips them over until he’s on top of Isak again and thrusts back deep inside him. 

“Oh God!” Isak cries out.

“You’re okay? Did I hurt you?” Even asks worriedly.

“No!” Isak protests, pulling him down for a kiss before pressing their foreheads together, both beaded with sweat. “I’m good, this is so good, don’t stop.”

Even pounds inside him, fast and hard, and it’s so much, so fucking much that Isak feels like his head is spinning and the air he breathes is burning inside his lungs. Even kisses him, licking past Isak’s lips and it feels like his entire body is full of him to the brim, Even’s cock in his ass, his tongue in his mouth, the sounds of his building orgasm in his ears. Even is everywhere. It’s overwhelming, almost too much, but Isak has never experienced such bliss.

Even breaks their kiss, his entire body shaking between Isak’s arms and his legs, all wrapped around him.

He cums with a loud shout, guttural, almost animal, before crashing down on Isak’s body. 

For a moment, there is no other sound in the room than their exhausted pants, slowing down as they come back from their orgasmic haze.

“Fuck.” Even breathes out a low chuckle. “That was…”

“Yeah.” Isak sighs. “You were amazing.”

“Well, I’ve had a good teacher.” Even winks.

“Shut up, you idiot!” Isak pulls him down to his mouth, their kiss turning into two giddy smiles pressed together.

“You’re amazing too.” Even whispers against Isak’s skin before pressing a soft, tender kiss on his cheek that Isak is pretty sure goes against the rules.

When Even rolls off him to lie on his back, Isak doesn’t get up and heads to the shower like he usually would. Instead, he curls up against Even, listens to his calming heartbeat and bask in the warmth of his body.

If Even can break a rule, then so can Isak...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! and again, thank you so much for the incredibly warm welcome you give this story chapter after chapter, I really can't believe it! it is such an immense joy for me to share this fic with you all. 
> 
> what did you think of this chapter? tell me in the comments, or come find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/naughtyevak)
> 
> a huge thank you to [Ghostcat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghostcat/) for proof-reading this story!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hei peeps!  
> chapter 6 is finally here! it took me a while to write this one, but I hope it'll be worth the wait! some of you were hoping to know more about what's going on in Even's mind so, here it is: Even's POV on this story! Enjoy :)

Having sex with Isak was... a revelation.

Or maybe it was having sex with a guy? No, Even was pretty sure it was Isak.

Of course, Even had thought about fucking a guy. He had wanted it for a very long time, but the experiences he had with guys whenever he and Sonja were broken up never went further than handjobs and blowjobs. And it was fine, he had fun exploring that part of his sexuality and even if he really wanted to go further, he still felt like it would have been betraying Sonja since he was always sure they would get back together eventually.

So yes, he thought about doing it with guys. And, well, maybe he did wonder about Isak a few times, when he would hear him whimper and moan while being fucked on the other side of his bedroom wall. Even knows by now that Isak could be pretty vocal during sex and Even is only human, so yes, maybe there were a few times when he couldn’t help picturing what Isak looked like, what was being done to him to make him cry out so loud.

Was it bad? To get a bit turned on by hearing your friend having sex in the next room? To wake up in the middle of the night, hard and sweating because those sounds infiltrated his dreams? To touch himself while replaying the images of his dream and the sounds he’d heard before?

They had talked about sex before, they didn’t really share their respective experiences in detail – especially not Even, it would have been weird since Isak knew Sonja that well – but they weren’t shy about the subject either. And it was fine, natural, without awkwardness at all, these fantasies about Isak disappearing just as they’d come. But that night, when they got drunk and Isak started to complain about how he missed sex, how badly he wanted to touch another body… something had felt different. Maybe it was the alcohol, the proximity of their bodies, the intimacy of their confessions or the stress of this unprecedented situation – probably a bit of all that – but for the first time, Even allowed his dream of Isak to become a reality.

When Isak told him he _“just wanted someone to touch him and make him cum”_ , Even instantly knew he wanted to be that someone. He had stared at Isak, not shying away from his unbecoming thoughts, his gaze intense and unwavering. Isak’s eyes were fixed on his lips and when he whispered “ _yes_ ”, the single, minuscule word pushed Even to lean in and kiss him.

Even thought that was as far as it would go, a drunken kiss between two friends who had allowed their horny and sex-starved conversation go to their heads. He believed he would be allowed to have a small taste of Isak and that it would be it. What Even hadn't expected, though, was how eagerly Isak responded to his kiss, parting his lips and letting him in, pulling Even down and spreading his legs for him until their bodies pressed together in a torrid embrace. 

Either Isak was really fucking horny that night, Even had thought, or he had been fantasizing about this before too. About Even and how it would feel like to kiss him and touch him.

Even knew he should have ended things right there. It would have been fine, they would have laughed it off and blamed it on the booze. But when he instinctively pressed his groin down against Isak and heard him moan in response, when he heard Isak make the noises he had heard so many times before, fantasized about and realised that this time, he was the reason for it, Even lost all sense of reason and self-control.

So he did it again, and again, and again. Even couldn’t stop as long as Isak kept making these noises, couldn’t stop until he would hear Isak cumming, knowing that this one cry would belong to him. 

And Isak… well Isak didn’t hold back, his moans getting louder with every roll of Even’s hips. It was everything Even had long desired, but when Isak started to whimper his name as he was nearing orgasm, Even had to kiss him again, to almost stop the sounds from escaping Isak’s mouth. Even knew he was already lost in his desire for Isak, but this truth was almost too difficult to admit. 

Cumming with Isak had felt so good. Even remembers feeling better than he had in a long time at that moment. He was content and sated, but more than that, for just a moment, he forgot about everything. About the stress of being locked down and the toll he was afraid it could take on his mental health, about being away from Sonja, his friends, his family… It wasn’t only due to his post orgasmic haze, his brain so drunk on endorphins that Even couldn’t think about anything else. No, at that moment, he was… happy.

That feeling, however, had been short lived, replaced by a rush of guilt, first for what he had just done to Sonja, and then for shutting Isak out. 

Even tried to put that first night behind him. He and Isak agreed to put that on the booze and the stress of that whole situation. He tried to accept the kiss as a mistake, a glitch. It didn’t make things with Isak uncomfortable and nobody else had to know, it would be fine.

Even tried to put what happened that night behind him like they agreed to, he even thought that it would get this slight attraction for Isak out of his system but instead, their hook up was all he could think about, all the time. And Even knew that Isak thought about it too. It was evident in the way they looked at each other, in the tension that filled the air every time they were together in the same room.

But did he want it again? 

Even could never ask him, not so openly. Although he needed to know, desperately.

If he couldn’t say the words, maybe Even could make him understand, make Isak know that he was still thinking about him, about what they did and that he hadn’t let go of it just yet. So one night, when he got hard in his bed, replaying the events of that night, Even decided to let Isak know what he was thinking about and how it was making him feel. He stroked himself thinking about Isak and made sure every sound that came out of his mouth could get through the wall.

Maybe Isak wouldn’t even hear him. Even always told him he was listening to music way too loud in his headphones and that one day he wouldn’t be able to hear anything – to which Isak usually rolled his eyes and sighed a “ _yes dad, I know._ ” Maybe he would hear him and not understand or not want the same thing as Even. Well, in that case, it would be easy to laugh it off. Pretend he just got carried away in the heat of the moment and gotten a bit loud without meaning to and then Even would know where they stood and he’d have no choice but to move on.

But Isak heard him, he heard Even and answered him, his whimpers and moans coming back to Even through the wall like an echo of his own pleasure. Even wanted Isak there in his own room so badly, he wanted to be able to touch him, really touch him this time. But these sounds alone were already so good. Even listened to them through the wall like he had many times before, but for the first time, they were meant for him. They were more than the proof of Isak getting off in the room next door, it was him telling Even that he got his message and wanted the same thing he did. When Isak came that night, Even was sure the force of his cry would make the wall crumble down.

The next day, Even wanted to talk with Isak, knowing they needed to address what had happened the night before. But Isak had been so busy with classes that he barely saw him leave his room. When he finally came to Isak at the end of the day, when he finally saw him, Even forgot everything he had meant to say. He spent the day preparing his speech, rehearsing every explanation and argument in his head, trying to prepare a response to every way Isak could possibly react. Whether he’d tell him he regretted what happened, that he had fun but didn’t want it to happen again, or even if he denied it and pretended they just coincidentally both got off very loudly that night. Even was ready for any scenario. But when he saw Isak, he forgot everything.

He entered the room, needing to be closer to Isak even though he feared that he may have ruined everything between them coming at him the way he did. But Isak wasn’t angry, he wasn’t disappointed or disgusted by him. No, Isak had let him approach, he had let Even confess his desires and he had let him touch him.

It would have been enough for Even, to know that he hadn’t lost Isak, that he wouldn’t push him away. It would have been enough, but Isak responded to his touch, Isak kissed him with the same yearning Even had felt growing inside him these last few days, before admitting to sharing Even desires in a whisper, like a secret.

After that, there was no turning back. Even had to touch Isak, feel him, stroke his skin when he would make him cum. To experience this again without the barrier of their clothing and the blur of alcohol. Even hadn’t really thought about what he was going to do, but when he fell down on his knees before Isak, when he pulled down his pants to finally uncover the object of the fantasies that had not left his mind for days and nights, his body acted almost without his own accord, taking Isak in his mouth as if it would finally satiate his hunger for him.

Even was nervous, he hadn’t done that in so long. But he let Isak’s voice guide him, following the variations of his moans and the pull of Isak’s fingers through his hair until he felt his thighs trembling around him. Isak warned him as he came close, but Even didn’t stop, didn’t let him out of his mouth. He wanted to feel everything, he wanted to feel Isak’s dick pulse when he’d shoot, he wanted to feel Isak’s cum run down his throat, to taste it on his tongue. That first night, he had only been able to hear Isak cum, their clothes permitting nothing else. But now he could hear, feel, taste, smell him, and it was glorious.

If it wasn’t overwhelming enough, Isak then gazed at Even in pure bliss before diving in to kiss him, pressing his lips ever so softly where his cock had been throbbing not even a minute before.

Even felt so content at that moment, still he couldn’t help his fears and insecurities get to him, making him doubt that it had felt as good for Isak. But when Isak assured him that it did, Even couldn’t see any lies in his eyes and it made him happier than he had been in a long time.

Even tried to offer absurd justifications for what he did. Maybe he needed to make himself feel better about crossing the line yet again, maybe he wanted to give himself or Isak an out. And Isak, he let him have it. He let Even blabber about wanting to help Isak feel better or needing to get rid of a little song that was stuck in his head. Isak let him say what he needed to say, but didn’t shy away from telling him how ridiculous it sounded. He laughed, he made fun of Even like he always did, as if it wasn’t serious at all but merely another one of their friendly arguments. He kept the situation lighthearted and joked as he always did whenever Even got stuck in his own head.

They left it at that but Even knew neither of them believed his “ _once and for all_ ” bullshit. Even knew they both felt this tension building between them, this pull they didn’t even try to fight. 

Until then, Isak had kept his distance, he had let Even come to him, kiss him first, touch him first. He hadn’t pushed Even into doing something he might later regret, but let Even make those choices himself. But not anymore.

It was his turn to ask for what he wanted, to take it, and Even let him.

He let Isak undress him and pin him down beneath his body. He let Isak see him, touch him, he let him cover his bare chest with their cum, marking him.

And when they were done, he let him voice the truth that he hadn’t been able to admit himself. They didn’t want this to stop.

They both knew their present agreement to never let this happen again didn’t mean anything. They both knew whatever happened between them was only starting, that it was approaching them with a speed and a force that was impossible to stop.

It couldn’t be stopped, but maybe it could be controlled.

So they set up rules and drew lines that shouldn’t be crossed and it worked. They made it work. They indulged in the pleasure and intimacy they both craved while trying to protect their friendship and Even’s relationship as best as they could.

It was fun, harmless if no one found out what happened – which they wouldn’t since Isak and Even had agreed on that rule – and they both knew it wasn’t meant to last. A sort of “what happened during lockdown stays in lockdown” situation, a capsule in the midst of these weird times they were going through, an anomaly in a most abnormal period. It would never have happened otherwise and it would stop as soon as they could get back to their real lives.

Even wasn’t completely fooling himself. He knew he needed these rules, reasonings and justifications to not let himself become overwhelmed by guilt about what he was doing to Sonja. Because of course he knew what he was doing was wrong, so fucking wrong. Even would never have thought about doing something like that to her, he wasn’t a cheater, and he loved Sonja. But what happened with Isak felt so natural, almost inevitable.

And Even hated to admit it, but it was the best sex he had ever had.

He hated to admit it to himself but it was even worse when he silently confessed it to Isak. Even didn't mean to, but Isak was down there, between his legs, his tongue running along Even's dick, sucking him between his lips, cockily asking Even to deny that he was the best at it. Even didn't want to admit it, he didn't want to give Isak the satisfaction. More than that he knew how dangerous confessing this truth could be. But still, he nodded.

Even momentarily scolded himself for his admission, but he quickly forgot all about it when Isak rewarded him with the best fucking blowjob Even had ever gotten. He knew Isak was likely ruining any future blowjob from any other lips but his, but he didn't care. Even felt selfish, he felt giddy. He knew he would probably later regret it, but he couldn't stop.

Isak did though.

He suddenly slid off, leaving Even stunned and naked on his bed, his phone buzzing on his chest, lightning up with his girlfriend’s name.

Even couldn't even remember why she called him that day. He couldn't recall a single word she said or a single one he gave in answer. Until that moment, Even had always been able to separate his moments with Sonja from what was going on between he and Isak. He created a protective bubble around himself whenever he was on the phone with her, committed completely to their Friday night video dates without letting Isak infiltrate his thoughts.

But that day he couldn't. He knew Sonja was speaking to him but he could only hear was the blood rushing to his ears. He wanted to give her substantial answers but everytime he opened his mouth, Even was afraid he would accidentally moan Isak's name. So he only gave her hums and monosyllabic answers instead.

Their conversation, if it could really be called that, lasted only a few minutes but Even was unable to focus on anything other than the sound of the shower coming from the corridor, imagining the lines and curves of Isak's body moving under the running water.

He could only think of finishing what they'd started.

Sex with Isak really was the best Even had ever had and they hadn’t even gone all the way.

Even couldn't. Of course he thought about it, wanted it, but he couldn't.

He knew it was ridiculous, but somehow it felt like the last line he couldn't allow himself to cross. As if doing so would make his betrayal more real, creating irreparable damage that would be impossible to come back from.

But he also knew, somehow, that it wasn't something _he_ would be able to come back from.

No, he couldn't allow himself that, though that day, Even still indulged in this fantasy. He didn't know what came over him when he joined Isak in that shower, he just wanted, needed a taste of what it would be like to have Isak that way. He pressed himself against Isak's back and slid his cock along Isak's ass. For a short second, Even feels like Isak pushed back against him when the head of his cock reached his rim. For a moment he wondered if Isak wanted Even to fuck him right there, if he would let him.

It was a dangerous thought, so Even shoved it to back of his head as he pushed his cock between Isak legs. He began to pound his hips against Isak's ass, furiously taking for himself what Isak had refused him earlier, desperately picturing what he couldn’t allow himself to have, not really.

Even didn’t know if the sex was as good for Isak as it was for him, but he could see that what he had done to him under that showerhead that day drove Isak completely wild. Isak was moaning like never before, his body quivering and yet so pliant between Even’s arms.

When they were both finished, Isak embraced him, held him and pressed his heart against Even's chest. And at that moment, Even stopped thinking, asking himself questions he was afraid to answer. At that moment he was just happy.

It all felt so good, that Even got bolder, his curiosity and desire to know, touch and feel every part of Isak stronger than his will to stay on the right side of the line he etched for himself.

One day, he ventured where he promised himself he wouldn’t go, he touched the most intimate part of Isak’s body and when Isak asked for it, Even pushed his fingers inside. He moved inside Isak’s body searching for the spot, deep and hidden, that would make him tremble and moan. Even watched his fingers disappear into Isak’s ass in absolute fascination and shivered when he imagined it could be his cock instead. How it would feel, how much louder would Isak be, how much harder they’d both cum.

Even knew he was only edging himself closer from his own red line but he couldn’t stop himself. And after he’d taken Isak apart on his fingers, fucking him was all Even could think about.

But he couldn’t, he wouldn’t.

Even was almost sure he wouldn’t be able to refuse or resist Isak if he asked Even to fuck him. So he carried on holding onto the vain hope that Isak wouldn’t dare to ask, that he somehow knew that it was a line Even couldn’t cross and that Isak would respect that for his sake.

But how could Isak possibly know? How could Isak guess that Even had established such absurd regulations for himself regarding what he could or couldn’t do? How could Isak know when the only rules of the treacherous game they were playing were those little agreements they made along the way to give themselves the illusion that they were in control?

How foolish was Even to think that he was safe?

Of course Isak wanted the same thing as Even did, and he was even ready for it.

When Even found the box of condoms in the bag of the groceries he was putting away, he felt as if he had been punched right in the gut. What was only a fantasy, a forbidden desire he could never act upon became suddenly very real. A desire shared and within his reach.

He imagined Isak completing themost mundane task that was grocery shopping, walking the aisles of their usual supermarket and grabbing some condoms between a bottle of milk and some toilet paper as if it was the most natural thing in the world, thinking about going home and fucking Even as he exchanged pleasantries with the cashier.

This idea was ridiculous, nonsensical, but it still made Even flush all over and caused his knees to buckle. But he couldn’t let himself yield at the first trial. No, he was stronger than that. He gave himself a limit and he would respect it.

So he didn’t. When Isak returned to their kitchen to find Even with the pack of condoms in his hands, when they painfully engaged in that difficult conversation, when Isak finally dared to confess what he wanted out loud, Even didn’t yield. As much as he wanted to run to Isak, lift him up in his arms and take him to his bed, Even didn’t give in.

But Even couldn’t be proud of himself, at all. As they talked, as their argument went on and Even ran through his ridiculous reasons for not wanting to cross that final line of betrayal, he saw the incredulity on Isak’s face, the irritation. That was fine, Even could have handled that, he deserved it. But then, he also could see the hurt, he could see how small he had made Isak feel, how vulgar his words had made what was happening between them. 

Of course they had both agreed from the start that this was just sex, that it didn’t have to mean more than that, that it shouldn’t mean more than that. They agreed that it would be over as soon as their lives would go back to normal.

This wasn’t a love story, they both knew that.

But Even would be foolish to believe that what they shared was completely void of feelings either. How could it be? They were friends before that, they knew each other, cared for each other, lived together. How wrong could he be to think they could forget all that, put it aside for a moment to become only two bodies using the other for release? How could he think they could bring their bodies closer while safely protecting their hearts?

Even hurt him. He hurt Isak and he was so angry at himself for it. He hated this.

They spent days in a glacial silence, avoiding each other, barely looking at each other. Even wanted to throw himself at Isak’s feet, admit that he had been the biggest idiot, that he had been so wrong, and beg Isak for forgiveness, but he didn’t dare. He could see that Isak needed time, that he wasn’t ready. Even knew Isak needed to embrace his anger, let it expand until it would fill up every room of the apartment until he could let it go. Even owed him that.

But in the end, Even couldn’t stay away, couldn’t bear the gap that was growing between them.

Even missed Isak, painfully so.

He missed talking with his friend for hours, smoking weed in their bedrooms while listening to Isak ask himself if their orbit around the sun made planets feel dizzy, watching a movie together on the couch and annoying him with a thousand anecdotes about the film’s shooting.

He missed the easy daily routine he shared with his roommate. Making him coffee in the morning and dinner in the evening, bickering about stupid little things like whose turn it was to clean the bathroom or the fact that Isak had finished the bottle of orange juice before putting it back in the fridge – _again_.

He missed touching his lover, holding him, breathing him in.

Even missed all of it.

One night, unable to stand it any longer, Even approached Isak, standing behind him to give him a chance to ignore him, to pretend like he didn’t notice Even’s presence. But Isak didn’t, he subtly showed him that he was listening, that he was giving Even a chance. He let Even talk, let him express how sorry he was, he even tried to share the burden of the guilt Even had been carrying for days but Even didn’t let him. He could never, this was all on him and Even was determined to own up to it completely.

When Isak accepted his apology, and he felt that it was safe for him to do so, Even took a few steps forward, until he was standing right behind Isak. He wanted to hold him, to wrap Isak’s body with his arms, to press their bodies together so tightly he wouldn’t be able to breathe, but Even was still worried he wasn’t allowed to. Yet he still needed to touch him, to feel the warmth of Isak’s body, he needed it to feel grounded, comforted. So Even let his head rest on Isak’s shoulder while he confessed how much he had missed him.

Even half-expected Isak to tell him that even though he was forgiven, it would be better for them to stop, that it had all been great fun but that Isak had had enough. He was prepared for that, again, Even thought he deserved that. But Isak didn’t.

_“I miss you too.”_

With those few words, that soft confession, they were finally reunited, friends, roommates, lovers. Although, the reunion of the latter was the most urgent, the most irrepressible. So they kissed and let their bodies make up for all the lost time, longing for each other, so distant even though they had spent the last few days in the same cramped space. Even desperately needed to close that distance completely, to feel closer to Isak than he had ever been before, to be more intimate with him than he could ever be.

He was done resisting, lying to himself as an excuse for the lies he was telling Sonja.

So he kissed Isak with all the force of these never-ending days of yearning, he held him close, so close neither of them could have any lingering doubts of the other’s desires. He undressed him, caressed him, he carried him in his arms, and Even knew there was no coming back when he stepped through the doorway of Isak’s bedroom. The moment they both landed on Isak’s bed, it didn’t matter anymore. Nothing mattered, nothing else than this moment, this place, this man lying under Even’s body and their desire to give themselves completely to one another.

And when they did, it was nothing like Even had ever experienced before. 

Watching Isak slowly sinking down his cock, every muscle in his body tensing as he moved up and down, undulating over Even’s body, feeling the delicious pressure of Isak’s ass clenching around him, hearing the heady chant of his name whimpered over and over through Isak’s parted lips; it was all so intense, overwhelming, all-consuming. Isak was everything, everywhere, attacking every one of Even’s senses, occupying all his thoughts.

If sex with Isak had been the best Even had ever had when they hadn’t properly fucked yet, this… this was most certainly close to divine ecstasy. Yes, having sex with Isak really was a revelation.

.

“Evennnn!”

Isak’s impatient whines suddenly pull Even out of his musing. He looks down at Isak on all fours before him on the couch, his broad back coated with sweat and beautifully arched to lift his firm ass higher for him, Even’s own cock disappearing in Isak’s hole, pink and shiny with lube.

“Sorry I got… distracted,” Even mumbles when he realises he slowed the tempo of his thrusts into Isak when he got lost in his thoughts.

Isak lifts his head from where it’s resting on his forearms and looks over his shoulders, eyes glassy and cheeks flushed, giving Even a small smirk that made his heart flutter.

“Seriously? What the fuck can you be thinking about while you’re balls deep inside me?” Isak snorts.

“Nothing.” Even leans in to give Isak a sloppy kiss on the corner of his mouth, both of them moaning when the movement makes Even shift inside Isak. “Nothing…”

_You, I only think of you._

“Oh God, yes! Like that – _ha! ha!_ – harder!” Isak cries when Even straightens up and takes hold of Isak’s hips, slamming him back onto his cock as he resumes his pace.

Even satisfies his demand, he presses the small of Isak back, arching him some more, to take him deeper, to find the perfect angle that will pull a louder moan from Isak’s throat with each pound of Even’s hips against his ass and every thrust against his prostate.

“Like that?” Even pants “Huh? You like that?”

“Fuck, yes!” Isak trembles under his hold. “Yes Even, more… gimme more! I think I’m gonna, I'm gonna…”

Before Even can move to touch him and make him cum, Isak gasps as he clenches around him and shoots all over the tee-shirt he hastily threw on the couch when they started to fuck. He’s squeezing Even so tight that he can barely move, so Even buries himself deep inside Isak and gives a few quick jabs before filling the condom and collapsing on Isak’s back.

Even holds Isak in his arms and feels the shivers running down his back as his heavy breath caresses the back of Isak’s neck.

“Well, fuck…” Isak chuckles, Even feeling the vibrations of his small laugh against his chest.

“Yeah…” he exhales. “I didn’t even have to touch you, you just…”

“Came just from your cock? Yep,” Isak responds cheekily.

“Wow, that was fucking hot.” Even nuzzles the damp curls at the nape of Isak’s neck. “Does that happen often? You cumming just on a guy’s cock?” he murmurs close to his ears.

“Sometimes…” Isak answers and Even can hear the smirk in his voice.

Isak leaves Even’s embrace and gets up from the couch, his legs seeming a bit wobbly. He turns to pick up the tee-shirt on the couch and wipe his belly and that’s when Even sees it, that small, playful smile on the corner of his lips. He wants to pull Isak back to him and kiss that smile, but they’ve already entered the _no kissing, no cuddling after sex_ territory, so he settles for solely watching Isak.

“What does that mean, ' _sometimes'_?” he asks, folding one of his arms on the couch to rest his head. “Like, every other time or am I an exceptional fuck?” Even wiggles his eyebrows at Isak who rolls his eyes with a scoff.

“Just… sometimes.” He shrugs.

“You’re not gonna tell me?”

“Nope.” Isak throws the soiled shirt on Even’s chest.

“Eww… gross!” Even grimaces.

Isak laughs before turning and heading to the bathroom, swaying his hips as he can undoubtedly feel Even’s eyes firmly locked on his body as he walks away.

*******

There is not a single room, not a single surface in the flat where Even hasn’t fucked Isak by now. He’s fucked him on both their beds, on the couch, on the floor of every room, over the kitchen counter and against the tiled wall of the shower. Even can’t look anywhere in the apartment and not picture them touching each other, blowing each other, making each other cum.

They can’t get enough of each other, almost not a day goes by when they don’t end up skin-on-skin, stroking, sucking, fucking.

Almost.

Because of course, they still respect the ‘ _no hooking-up on Fridays_ ’ rule. Fridays are still reserved for date night with Sonja.

This is the last line Even still hasn’t crossed now that he’s succombed to his desire to fuck Isak .The thing is, he has more and more difficulty separating his moments with her from the days and nights he was spending with Isak. Sometimes, he can’t let his mind wander to Isak as he listens to Sonja telling him about her day, about some friends she called to catch up with, about this new podcast she’s started, or how she misses her dance class.

Even wants to be present with her completely, to focus on Sonja, on them, but he can’t help it. He’d hear the shower running and think about surprising Isak by joining him and dropping to his knees beneath the warm water. Or Isak’s laugh would resonate from the living room as he watches something on TV or talks on the phone with one of the boys and Even would picture his smile, the small gaps between his teeth, the dimples on his cheeks that he likes to kiss so much, like two soft parenthesis framing Isak’s lips.

Tonight, Even is seated on his bed, his long legs spread out on the mattress with his laptop on his lap. The room is dimly lit, Sonja’s smile brighter than ever on the computer screen and still, Even’s attention slowly drifts to the room next door, discreetly, almost imperceptibly, without Even even noticing, until Sonja’s voice brings him back to their on-screen conversation.

“You okay, Ev?” she asks softly.”You seem distracted.”

“Mh? Yeah, sorry I just… I’m just a bit tired that’s all.” Even shrugs.

“You are? Are you having trouble sleeping? You’re feeling alright?” 

“Sonja, I’m fine.” Even cuts off her worried line of questions. “Don’t worry, it’s nothing.”

“You’re sure?” Sonja frowns.

“Yes, I’m sure.” Even sighs when he hears the doubt in his girlfriend’s voice, calling his feelings into question like she often does.

“Okay.” Sonja nods, accepting Even’s assurance for his own health and stability, for now. “Sorry I… I just miss you honey.”

“I miss you too, Son.”

“I’m sick of these video calls, I want to see you… I want to touch you, I want you to take me in your arms.”

“Me too…”

“I miss kissing you…” Sonja purrs, making Even grow uneasy as he begins to see where this is going to go. “I want to feel your lips on my skin so bad.”

“Um, I…” Even is desperate to end this conversation, while feeling equally guilty because his girlfriend he hasn’t been with in weeks is clearly trying to engage in phone sex. He should be excited, he should want that. But Even doesn’t. It feels awkward, deceitful and wrong, and when Sonja removes her blouse, revealing the soft curve of her breasts in that delicate white lace bra he used to like so much, Even closes his eyes for a second, instead picturing a flat chest, strong pecs and a light stubble on a sharp jaw.

“What’s wrong?” Sonja asks. “Are you feeling shy honey? That’s so cute, it’s not the first time we’ve done that,” she giggles.

“Yeah I know it’s just…” Even stutters, feeling his heart pound when he hears the muffled sounds of Isak moving around in his bedroom on the other side of the wall he’s leaning against. “I don’t want Isak to hear,” he whispers.

And it's true, Even doesn't want Isak to hear him and Sonja engaging in dirty talk and moaning as they watch each other touch themselves. But then, Even can’t really tell her why. He can’t be completely honest and tell her why he didn’t want his roommate to hear.

And he absolutely cannot tell her how wrong it would feel for him to do that with Isak right next door.

“Oh, come on,” she scoffs. “It’s nothing he hasn’t heard before.”

“I know, I just-"

“Okay, it’s alright…” Sonja puts her blouse back on and shrugs. “Another time.”

“Yeah um… another time.” Even attempts to conceal his relief, hopes his smile looks more apologetic than pleased to be off the hook.

They continue to talk for a while until Sonja begins to doze off in front of her screen and eventually ends the call.

“Can’t wait for our next date night next Friday.” She winks and Even feels an uncomfortable tug in his stomach when he realises that she'll probably want to try having phone sex again, and that he won’t be able to avoid it forever.

But then he shouldn’t think like that, right? Even should feel fucking lucky to have a sweet, beautiful girlfriend who misses him so much she was willing to get naked in front of her webcam and go though the uncomfortable experience of masturbating with her boyfriend via video-call. He knows he should want that too, but as Even lays alone in his bed, his computer turned off and discarded on the floor, all he can think about is Isak on the other side of the wall in his own bed, alone too.

Even wants to get up and join Isak in his room, he wants to slide under his duvet and join their bodies, press their chests together, caress his skin, put his lips on Isak’s lips, on his neck, around his cock. But he can’t do that, not now, not today. They have rules and he won’t break this one no matter how badly he wants Isak. Even is getting hard just thinking about it. He considers getting himself off, wondering if letting isak hear him like he had weeks ago after the first time they hooked-up would be tolerable, or if it was strictly against the rules. Of course it would (break his cardinal law, if not by letter, by spirit. And how could Even allow himself to do with Isak what he couldn’t do with Sonja, on this night of all nights?

Even lies immobile in his bed, heart beating to the thought of Isak’s proximity, skin buzzing with the desire to touch him, legs bouncing with the temptation to go to him. He tries to sketch, to read, but he can’t concentrate on anything, so Even resigns himself to staring up at the ceiling, letting minutes, maybe even hours, elapse. He grabs his phone from the nightstand to confirm how much time has passed and stills, eyes fixed on the numbers on the screen.

Even waits.

He watches the digits change, one minute following the next.

Another minute, and then he gets up.

Even walks across his bedroom and opens the door, takes the few steps that separate it from Isak’s and knocks.

“Yeah?” Isak’s voice answers him from the other side.

Even takes in a deep breath and pushes the door open.

He finds Isak sitting on his bed under the covers, scrolling on his phone that casts his chest with a cold, bluish glow. Isak looks up at Even, turns off the light of the small screen with a light press of his thumb and sets his phone down next to him on the bed. He doesn’t say anything more, he only watches Even, eyebrows raised with a mix of challenge and curiosity.

“Can I come in?” Even feels oddly shy, sheepish, like a child caught doing something he’s not supposed to do.

“You can.” Isak smiles, inviting if only slightly playful.

Even can see Isak knows why he’s here, there is no need for him to play here, no need for explanation either. Isak knows and his smile, the sparkle in his eyes, tell Even that he wants it too. Even reaches Isak’s bed in a few long strides and climbs on the bed, straddling Isak to press ravenous kisses on the side of his neck.

“What-” Isak gasps, craning his neck to give Even more space to cover with his lips. “What happened to ‘no-hooking up on Friday nights’?” He asks as Even strips the duvet covering his legs before leaving a trail of kisses down his chest.

Even fumbles for Isak’s phone on the mattress, he presses the side button to light up the screen and hand it to Isak. “It’s not Friday night anymore,” he murmurs against Isak’s skin.

“Wow.” Isak snorts, taking his phone from Even’s hand to put in his nightstand. “It’s 00:04. So we’re playing on technicalities now? What’s next, you’re gonna be looking for loopholes in the big book of lockdown hook-up rules?”

“You’re right.” Even softly bites Isak’s left nipple, followed by a brush of his tongue that makes Isak shiver and his smirk slightly falter. “I should stop, you’re right. I wasn’t playing very fair here but I’ll go if that’s what you want.” He continues to travel down Isak’s body, to his stomach and feels Isak’s abs tensing under the touch of his lips, the lick of his tongue.

“Don”t you fucking dare,” Isak groans, running his fingers through Even’s hair, grabbing fistfuls as if there were really any risk of Even escaping his bed.

But of course there isn’t any risk of that happening, absolutely none. Even chuckles and looks at the train of goosebumps his breath raises across Isak’s belly. He tugs down Isak’s sweatpants, his briefs, and settles between his legs, lets Isak embrace him with the warm pressure of his thighs. This time, nothing feels awkward or wrong. Even doesn’t feel the need to find an excuse, any excuse to get out of this. There is no place else he’d rather be than in this bed, against this body, and absolutely nothing and no one else matters in that moment.

There is only Isak.

Him and Isak.

His hands on Isak’s waist, his fingers pressing on his hips, anchoring him to the mattress. 

His tongue on Isak’s cock, licking from the base to the head. His eyes, boring into Isak’s as he stretches his lips around Isak’s girth and swallows him slowly.

The sounds of Isak’s whimpers and moans, growing louder and more desperate as Even quickens the movement of his head and takes him deeper, without any fear of anyone hearing them or knowing what they're doing.

“ _Aaah_ yes! Fuck, Even, this feels so good.” Isak begins to tremble, he can’t help thrusting his throbbing dick up into Even’s mouth, who moans to tell him that he can, that he’s ready for Isak to cum on his tongue, down his throat.

When Isak’s finished, Even slides off his cock and sits back on his knees. He spits into his palm, a mixture of his own saliva and Isak’s cum he hasn’t swallowed and strokes himself as Isak struggles to catch his breath, watching him with dark, glassy eyes. Even feels so fucking turned on by what he just did to Isak, by his drunken gaze and his flushed, languid body that he only needs a few swift tugs before cumming all over Isak’s chest.

Even collapses next to Isak on his bed, he feels Isak’s body shaking with laughter, he hears the joyful melody through the deafening sound of blood still rushing to his ears.

“What?” he asks in a raspy whisper.

“Nothing… it was a nice very early Saturday surprise.” Isak chuckles.

“Shut up.”

After a moment to recover, they get out of bed, take their turn in the bathroom like they’ve fallen into the habit of, before returning to their respective beds for the night.

Even pulls his duvet over his spent and content body, but the moment he closes his eyes to sleep, he feels an unpleasant nagging away at him. Even knows that what he did wasn’t right, he can feel that his guilt is going to catch up with him, that it is going to wash over him tomorrow like a nasty hangover.

But that is a problem for tomorrow.

Now, he only wants to fall asleep to the memory of Isak’s soft skin vibrating under his fingertips.

*******

Even was right. He wakes up the next day feeling tense, uncomfortable, a bitter taste in his mouth that doesn’t leave him all day. 

When he thinks about the night before, Even feels his heart hammering in his chest, but not the way it normally does when reliving sex with Isak. What he feels is not excitement, joy or lust. No, his heart pounds with nervousness and anger at himself.

Isak senses that something is wrong but, when Even assures him that he’s alright, he doesn’t press the issue. They go on about their day at a distance, Even avoiding Isak’s concerned gaze that he can feel following him whenever they cross paths in the apartment.

This dread and uneasiness follow Even until he goes to bed that night. He twists and turns in his bed for what feels like hours, his anxious thoughts not letting him find sleep, a tightening in his chest that makes it hard to breathe.

Even is so preoccupied by his worries that he doesn’t hear his bedroom opening or Isak entering, until he gets in Even’s bed with him.

“What-” He jumps in surprise when he notices Isak sliding under the duvet. “What are you doing?”

“You’re not sleeping,” Isak states simply, making himself comfortable on Even’s second pillow, lying on his side so he can face him. “I can hear you moving around through there.” He gives a little nod toward the wall seperatig their beds.

“Yeah, well I’m sorry I'm keeping you awake. I’ll try to be more quiet but, um… I’m really not in the mood for that Isak. Not tonight.” Even winces slightly when he hears the sternness in his voice. He doesn’t want to hurt Isak, to make him feel bad in any way. It wouldn’t be right, it’s on him, on Even, everything’s on him.

“That’s not why I’m here,” Isak answers softly, seemingly unfazed by Even’s abruptness. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I just… I can’t sleep that’s all.”

“Even, you’ve been on edge all day. Talk to me…”

“I-” Even sighs. “I’m afraid I can’t control anything anymore, I keep pushing my own limits, my own boundaries and I can’t… I can’t help myself.”

“Is this about last night?”

“I shouldn’t have…” Even shakes his head. “Fuck, what is wrong with me?”

“It’s not all on you, okay?” Isak says, his voice warm and reassuring. "I could have been stricter with our rules, too, but I selfishly played along... because I wanted it."

“Yes, but... it’s not just that.” Even rolls over until he’s lying on his back, preferring to stare at the bare ceiling rather than back at Isak and his overwhelming, attentive gaze. “I want _this_ , all the fucking time, I mean whenever we’re not doing it I’m just constantly thinking about it… I mean, it’s never been like this and it fucking scares me because I thought it would calm down with time but it doesn’t and I’m not even able to limit myself to one fucking night of the week when I know I shouldn’t… I couldn’t even hold myself to that fucking rule and I’m beginning to think that this entire thing is not normal, it’s too much and now I’m freaking out.”

“Are you afraid that you-”

“Yes.”

“Even…” Isak exhales. “Even, look at me.”

Even waits a moment before rolling to his side, knowing that he can’t have this conversation with Isak while looking at the ceiling. He turns back to Isak, his heart racing in his chest, expecting to see the inquisitive look Sonja or his parents would lay on him every time he behaved in an unordinary way or he felt like he was slipping.

But he doesn't. Isak isn’t frowning, worried, or scanning Even’s face for any sign of something wrong. He doesn’t ask him a thousand questions about his sleeping schedule, whether he’s taken his meds or how long he’s had these concerns about his mental health. No, Isak’s gaze is warm, tender and confident.

“You’re not slipping. I know you’re anxious, I can see that. But you’re not manic,” he says calmly.

“How can you be so sure? You’re not in my head Isak,” Even spits, but once again, Isak doesn’t seem to be perturbed by Even’s tone.

“No, but I know you, I see you.” Isak slides a little bit closer to Even and cups his jaws with his hand, soft, warm, safe. “And I feel the same as you about _this_. I want this all the time, too. But that’s just because it feels fucking amazing!” He chuckles and Even feels the pressure on his chest lifting ever so slightly. 

“Of course I don’t know what you’re feeling exactly right now,” Isak continues, rubbing his thumb against Even’s cheek. “Only you can feel what you feel, but... I know you’re not slipping. I can feel you here, with me.”

“Maybe…” Even closes his eyes, concentrating on the calming, grounding brush of Isak’s finger on his skin. “But when I do… and we’re still locked in here-”

“ _If_ you ever do during fucking lockdown,” Isak corrects him. “We’ll deal with it the same way we’ve dealt with it before.”

“Minute by minute?” Even opens his eyes, finding Isak’s green irises boring into his.

“Yes, minute by minute.” Isak murmurs in a smile.

“Come here.” Isak pulls Even to him, wraps his arms around him as Even curls up on his side, laying his head on Isak’s chest. “Now just try to sleep, okay?” he whispers in Even’s hair.

“Okay… Isak?” Even asks before the lullaby of Isak’s heart can make him finally doze off.

“Yeah?”

“Will you kiss me? Just this time?”

Even raises his chin, meeting Isak’s soft smile, his eyes a conflation of surprise and tenderness. Isak doesn’t answer, he just leans in and kisses Even like he asked him to. A slow, chaste kiss that doesn’t ask for more but somehow feels bigger than anything they’ve ever done before.

*******

The next morning, Even wakes up alone in his bed. He remembers falling asleep against Isak’s chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heart, wrapped in Isak’s arms. But now the sheet is cold beside him and Even assumes Isak must have left during the night after he had fallen asleep. It is a strange sensation but Even feels disappointed and relieved at the same time not to have found Isak in his bed when he opened his eyes. Even knows he would certainly have loved to wake up feeling Isak’s body against his, to kiss his relaxed lips and smooth the crease that could have been printed on his sleepy face after a night pressed to his pillow. But then, he understands that Isak has respected their rules and he’s grateful to him for that. Isak came to him last night because Even needed comfort, he needed someone to hold him and tell him he was okay. Isak knew that and was there for Even, like always. But they still needed to maintain the barrier between their duel relationships – the friends, the lovers – and the kiss they shared before Even fell asleep had already blurred it enough.

Even finds Isak sitting at the kitchen table in front of a cup of coffee. He gives Even a soft smile when he hears him step into the room.

“Good morning.” Isak fills another cup before sliding it across the table to the spot where Even usually sits. “I made coffee, so you know it’s shit.”

“Okay.” Even chuckles before bringing the cup to his lips. “Yeah, it’s bad.” He grimaces after taking a first sip.

Isak laughs and gives him a light, playful kick beneath the table. His ankle locks with Even’s, lingers there for a moment when their eyes meet and their cheeks flush in twin soft blushes. 

“Sleep well?” Isak asks after a minute spent drinking their terrible coffee in silence.

“Yeah I did, thank you.” Even smiles at Isak who nods, seemingly satisfied.

“I mean it,” Even insists, sliding his hand across the table until he can reach Isak’s. He only brushes it with a soft, barely there touch of his fingertips and watches Isak’s fingers twitch timidly in response. “Thank you for last night.”

“Yeah.” Isak clears his throat. “Of course, I'm just… glad you’re feeling better.” He turns his hand over on the table to let their palms join, fingers wrapping around each other’s wrists.

*******

After that night, they allow themselves to touch each other, to exchange simple, non-sexual touches, to share an intimate tenderness they know goes well beyond the limits of their arrangement.

Isak lets his hand slide across Even’s hips and the small of his back when they move around each other in the small bathroom. 

Even presses a kiss on Isak’s cheek when he’s on the phone with Jonas and laughs when Isak flips him off, eyebrows drawn together but not able to hide the blush on his face.

They make out on Even’s bed but don’t go further than that, deciding that they’re both a bit tired and decide to watch a movie on his laptop instead, their bodies pressed against each other. Only because Even’s bed is not that wide, of course.

Their in-between moments are now rife with warm caresses and soft kisses, touches so pure Even can’t bring himself to feel guilty about it. Couldn’t even if he tried.

More often than not, however, their kisses and caresses lead them where they are now, naked on Even’s bed, Even clenching the sheets in his fists as Isak kisses the inside of his thighs, low, even lower until he reaches his crotch. Even whimpers when Isak’s mouth reaches the sensitive skin where his thighs meet his ass. He feels his body quivering, his cock twitching with anticipation. 

Isak licks, tracing the vein from the base of Even's cock to it's tip, sucking pre-cum from its source. “Fuck… Isak that’s so good,” Even moans as Isak makes his way back down to suck on his balls.

Even expects Isak to travel up again to his cock to suck him off and drive him wild like he always does but Isak’s lips continue lower, licking across his perineum before licking hungrily along Even’s crack. “Oh God!” he cries in a shuddering breath.

“Can I?” Isak asks, his breath hot and tickling on Even’s skin.

“Yeah.” Even should be nervous at the thought of Isak touching him, licking him where nobody has before. But he doesn’t. He sees Isak’s eyes sparkle with joy and lust and all he can feel is the thrill of being the one responsible for the look on Isak’s face. He would let Isak do anything he wanted to him if it meant being able to see that look in his blown out eyes.

Isak dives back between Even’s legs in a ravenous rush. He spreads Even’s cheeks with his hands and presses his tongue in broads licks along his rim. Even moans, repositioning his hips on the mattress to give Isak more access. He’s never felt anything like this, Isak’s wet tongue giving, soft and slick against his hole, then pushing in, breaching his body and stretching Even’s walls, making room for Isak inside him. It’s so dirty, yet so tender that Even feels like he’s losing his mind.

“More,” Even pants. “Fuck! Isak please, more.”

“You want my finger?” Isak tilts up his head to look at Even, his eyes dark, his lips and chin shining with the same spit that Even feels running along his rim, the air cool on his wet skin making him shiver.

“Yes,” Even breathes out, nodding, his heart pounding in his chest when Isak grabs the lube before bringing his lips back to Even’s ass.

He continues to eat him out before Even can finally feel Isak’s lubed finger circling at his rim, pulling slightly to allow his tongue deeper, his pad pressing on Even’s hole.

“Yes.” Even pants. “More, I’m ready. Please…”

Isak slides his finger inside gingerly, adding its careful thrusts to the delicious sensation of his tongue inside Even. It’ so much, so fucking much – Even's cock leaking pre-cum, hardening and pulsing with every swirl of Isak's tongue – but Even knows that it’s not nearly enough. As Isak tends of him, so gentle and careful, Even realises that everything Isak has given him, he wants to give back. Everything he has taken from Isak, he wants Isak to take and own from him, too. Even is already in uncharted territory, no one ever before doing to him what Isak is doing right now. Even has fingered himself before, but he’s never had someone touch him there and never thought he would ever go even further than that with anyone either. But if there has to be one, a first and only one, then Even wants him to be Isak and no one else.

“Isak… Isak, hold on,” Even whimpers, tugging his crown of curls.

Isak pauses, withdraws his fingers from Even, who winces at the loss of Isak inside him..

“Sorry… was it too much?” Isak asks. Even can see his concern, fearing he made Even feel uncomfortable or perhaps hurt him in some way.

“No!” Even shakes his head vigorously. “Come here.”

Isak crawls up Even’s body until their lip can crash together, Even moaning, tasting himself on Isak’s tongue. “No, Isak it was so good. So fucking good,” Even pants between Isak’s engorged lips.

“Yeah?” Isak smiles, a smile so happy and sweet that makes Even’s heart swell.

“Yeah. But I want more. I want you.”

“You want-”

“I want you inside me. Please?”

“Are… are you sure?” Even sees Isak’s eyes widen in shock, he can hear his breath falter in his throat when he realises what Even is asking of him.

“Yes, I’m sure. Isak, I want you to fuck me.”

“Shit. Wow… okay,” Isak stammers and Even can’t help feeling a bit proud at himself for getting Isak so hot and flustered at the mere thought of fucking him.

“Okay?” He beams, raising his eyebrows at Isak.

“Yeah… God of course!” Isak kisses him again, all smiles and teeth, sloppy, but it doesn’t matter. He puts more lube on his fingers and resumes his ministrations, pressing one finger inside Even's ass, and pushing his tongue inside his mouth, swallowing Even's moans.

It’s good. It’s already so good that Even can’t conceive how he’s going to handle what’s to come. But he wants to find out. “Another, gimme another one.”

Isak pulls out and squeezes two fingers inside, slowly, carefully until they're buried to the knuckle. Isak gives Even some time to adjust before he gently withdraws and pushes back inside him. He does that again, and again, and again, always a little faster, a little deeper.

“Oh fuck! Yes! Yes!”

“Right here?” Isak purrs as he rubs Even’s prostate with his fingertips.

“Yes! Oh God, you’ve got to fuck me right now. I don’t wanna cum before I’ve had you inside me.” Even whines.

“Okay, hold on, easy.” Isak chuckles. He stops aiming for Even’s prostate, but separates and spreads his fingers into a V-shape, stretching Even carefully.. “I want to make sure you’re ready for me. I don’t want to hurt you, so we’re gonna try another finger first, okay?”

“Okay.” Even pants, trying to relax as much as he can around Isak’s fingers when he adds a third. “Fuck, that feels so good.”

“Yeah? You think you’re ready for my cock?”

“I’m ready – _aaah! ah!_ – fuck, Isak I’m ready. Please fuck me!”

Isak removes his fingers and reaches to open the drawer of his nightstand and grab the box of condoms with his clean hand. “Do you need help with that?” Even chuckles, watching Isak struggle to pull a condom from the box and unwrap it with one of his hands all wet with lube. Isak rolls his eyes, but lets Even take the condom from his hand, unwrap it and almost reverently roll it down his throbbing hard cock.

“Fuck!” Isak hisses between clenched teeth as Even covers his cock with lube with a few tugs of his fist.

Even squeezes the back of Isak’s neck, he kisses him before reclining on the bed, pulling Isak down with him. “I want you to fuck me like this,” he murmurs against Isak’s lips and feels the hair at the nape of his neck rise on Isak’s skin. “I want to look at you.”

“Okay.” Isak nods, rubbing their noses together before kissing Even again. He reaches down, grips his cock and aligns his tip, pressing against Even’s hole. “Ready?”

“Yes. Yeah, I’m ready.”

Even gasps when Isak’s cocks breaches his body, the blunt pressure knocking all the air out of his lungs. 

“Relax.” Isak showers soft kisses across his cheek and down his neck. “Just keep breathing, okay?”

Even inhales deeply and lets Isak sink inside him a little deeper, feeling his body beginning to accommodate him, still not completely comfortable, but not as painful anymore.

“You’re okay?” Isak asks when he’s halfway inside him. Even can feel Isak’s body shaking as he’s no doubt desperate to move faster and thrust into Even’s body, desperate to chase his own pleasure. But he doesn’t, sinking slowly inside, kissing him and stroking his skin to ease him.

“Yeah.” Even breathes out shakily. “It's just… a lot.”

“I know,” Isak murmurs.

Even cocks an eyebrow, smirking as he watches Isak’s face fall when he realises why Even is looking at him like that

“I didn't mean it like that.” Isak rolls his eyes. “Fuck you!”

“Yeah, that's kinda what I've been asking for here.”

“Jesus Christ, Even, shut up!”

The vibrations and motions from their laughter make Isak shift inside Even and plunge deeper in his ass. “Oh fuck…” Even whimpers.

“Sorry! I'm sorry.” Isak’s laughter suddenly ceases, a veil of worry falling across his face.

“No, it's good. Fuck! Isak it's so good, keep going... please,” Even begs, feeling the burn in his stretched body slowly turning to pleasure.

Isak shuffles closer, probing into Even carefully until he’s inside him completely, their hips flushed together, eyes boring into each other. 

“God, Even you feel so good,” Isak groans. “You’re so fucking tight. I can't believe I get to be the first to fuck you, stretch you out, fill you up. I can't believe nobody else knows how amazing this... you... feel."

“Nobody else.” Even moans when Isak tentatively grinds his hips. “Nobody.”

“Can I move?”

“Yes, please – _aaah_! – Fuck me Isak, come on!”

Isak begins to rock inside him, long slow thrusts at first, gaining speed and depth as Even's encouraging moans grew louder and louder. “God! You take me so well, you’re so fucking hot taking my cock.” Isak groans as he pounds Even, the slap of their flesh meeting, echoing in the bedroom.

“Isak, oh God!” Even cries when Isak grabs his dick and begins to stroke him, the slide made easy by the lube that’s left on his fingers. “I’m gonna-”

“Yeah? Come on, I wanna feel you cum around my cock.” Isak groans.

Isak’s words and a few more strokes of his hand are all it takes to push Even over the edge. His orgasm gains speed, crashing through him like an unstoppable wave. He shoots all over Isak’s hand, feeling the warm fluid splash across his chest. Isak lets go of his cock and fucks him faster, harder, racing to cross the finish line before Even can become too sensitive and uncomfortable. Isak comes with a shout and Even surprises himself by wishing there wasn’t any barrier between their bodies, that Isak was spilling his cum inside him rather than into a condom.

_What the fuck…_

Isak pulls out carefully and gets rid of the condom before lying down next to Even and wrapping his arms around his waist when Even rolls to his side to face him. They kiss, slowly, tenderly, Isak running his hand up and down Even’s body to soothe him.

“You’re okay?” Isak whispers, his lips so close to Even’s skin that their words feels like another kiss.

“Yes. That was… that was incredible.”

“Yeah…” Isak blushes, his usual cockiness replaced by a soft smile. “It really was.”

They hold each other, Isak kisses Even’s lips, his neck, his cheeks, he presses his lips on the tip of his nose and on each of his eyelids before resting their foreheads together, eyes closed, breathing slow, heartbeats in unison.

“Isak?”

“Mmh?”

“Don’t go tonight. Stay with me, please?”

“Okay, I’ll stay.”

Even closes his eyes and lets himself drift off to sleep, confident that when he’ll open them back in the morning, Isak will still be there with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this different side of the story...  
> I can't believe the next chapter will be the last, writing this fic has been an amazing experience so far and I am beyond grateful for your support!
> 
> a huge thank you to [Ghostcat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghostcat/) for proof-reading this story!
> 
> and a thousand times thank you to my lovely friend and fantastic beta-reader, for always inspiring and supporting me <3


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